I am a self-proclaimed dating app queen.
I've swiped on Tinder and Bumble for days and met some interesting people. While a majority of the responses I get are pretty positive (even if in the most inappropriate ways), I'd be lying if I said that I haven't received any negative comments from guys on dating apps.
This is something I'll NEVER understand, because aren't you only supposed to swipe right on people you're actually attracted to?
That's a conversation for another day, but nonetheless, I have been called everything under the sun from randos on dating apps before and I'm here to tell the tale.
Recently, I've been getting a little more into Bumble, even though I'll admit I'm team Tinder until the day I die. The opening line in my bio is "What's a girl gotta do for a message back" because honestly, no matter if I send a puppy GIF, smooth pickup line, or just a "hey," a majority of my Bumble conversations disappear before they ever become anything.
true gentleman total and complete asshole decided to let me know what I have to do to find someone who will message back and want to date me.
According to this walking trashcan, I need to "lose 100 lbs and get that gap (between my teeth) fixed."
Now, I've been called out on my weight more times than I can count and I've also been called out on my gap before too. But for some reason, this particular interaction really stirred up something in me that hasn't been hit in quite some time.
Dear boy of Bumble, you have life all wrong.
I do not need to change for you, or for anyone. If someone doesn't want to talk to me, fine! They don't have to! I will move on with my life completely unbothered. But for you to think that I need to lose weight and fix my appearance in order for me to get anyone's interest, that's where you're completely off base.
I'll be the first to admit that I'm a bigger girl and that I'm not a perfect 10/10. I've come a long way since my awkward, pre-puberty days, and I'm actually very confident in the body that I'm in. It's not ideal, but it's what I've been blessed with, and if I ever decide I'm unhappy with it I will change. But that change will not be for any man, especially a rando off Bumble.
I am not hurt by the comments this boy made. In fact, I want to use these comments to start my latest revolution. You do not need to change to find someone who will love you. The person you are meant to be with and the one who deserves someone like you will find everything about you beautiful. You will be like a walking dream to them because let's be real, you're what they've been dreaming of since day one.
If anyone ever tries to convince you that you are not enough for them or that you need to change in order to be worthy, drop them. It doesn't matter if they're just some guy off Bumble or your long-term partner. That is a toxic, harmful mindset for you to have. You're supposed to feel beautiful around the person you're dating, not like you'll never live up to their standards. Staying with someone who constantly makes you feel like you need to change in order to receive their love is going to cause you more harm than good.
Ladies, it doesn't matter if you weigh 500 pounds, 200 pounds, 90 pounds, or anywhere in between—you are worthy of love. You do not need to lose weight to find someone who will accept you for who you are. As long as you are comfortable in your own skin and okay with your weight, never feel like you need to change to find a man (or woman) who is interested in being with you. Anyone worth being your partner, whether it's just a short fling or a life-long marriage, will not care. They will appreciate you for who you are. The number on the scale will be nothing more than a number to them.
To the boy on Bumble who thinks I need to lose weight to find someone who's interested in me, here's the thing, I will find love much sooner than someone with a rotten personality like you will.