The Worst Part Of A Breakup Is Having To Watch Them Try So Much Harder With Someone Else After You
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When my last relationship ended, I read every self-help article out there to try and figure out how to gather up the pieces of my heart and move on. I was told that the hardest part would be deleting their pictures. I was told to take my time getting back into the dating scene. I was told to block their number and ignore their texts and more than anything, I was told that time will heal all wounds.

But nobody told me to be cautious of the pain of watching someone you used to care about so deeply try so much harder to make a relationship work with someone else after you.

Nobody told me that I would find out he'd been in a relationship for four months now, on a random Sunday during what's supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. Nobody told me that at first I wouldn't believe it, and then I'd go numb. I wouldn't feel anything but the pit in the bottom of my stomach. Nobody told me that I'd spend hours that weekend searching through his and her social media for answers, for clues, and for "I love you"s.

But that's exactly what happened.

No self-help book, no relationship article, no love song on the radio could prepare me for the pain of watching someone I truly loved put more effort into trying to make his new relationship work than he ever did into ours. Nobody could've ever helped me understand just how much this would hurt.

I think it hit my self-esteem the most. What was wrong with me? Why wasn't I worth fighting for? I asked myself these questions as I laid in bed staring at my ceiling or as I took a shower and let the warm water hit my body to take away the lack of warmth. She had something about her that made her worth keeping. I had something within me that made me better off as an ex.

I was over my ex. I was going on dates again. I didn't drunk text him every time I went out to the bar. I stopped writing about him. He was nothing more than my ex, someone I thought of distantly, until I found out he was putting all the effort I wish he would've put into our relationship into keeping the love strong with someone else.

The worst part of a breakup isn't the awkwardness of their Tinder profile popping up as you do your nightly swiping. It isn't having to delete and block them from your social media. It isn't loosing connection with their friends and family. The hardest part of a breakup will forever be watching them try so hard to maintain their newfound love, knowing damn well they dumped you to the side like you were nothing.

I could never prepare myself for a pain like that.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Being Far Away From My Boyfriend Actually Strengthened Our Relationship Instead Of Forcing It Apart

While we were apart, we became closer.

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Before I really start this article, I just want to say that my relationship isn't truly a long distance relationship. We are both college students at the same university eight months out of the year, but the other four months we live quite a distance apart. Even during those four months, we are only about 150 miles from each other as the bird flies, but really about three hours from each other.

Being in a relationship where I'm not able to see my boyfriend every day or even every week has been a real challenge. But it's been a good challenge. It hasn't been a challenge because I've felt unfaithful or fallen out of love with him in any way. It's challenging because I miss him. We both work jobs and our schedules aren't the same and oftentimes we aren't able to talk to each other unless it's early in the morning or late at night. There are times when all I want to do is talk to him and tell him about how my day went and get a big bear hug from him. Unfortunately, I'm not really able to do this.

I firmly believe that being apart from each other for days, weeks, or even months have brought us closer than we could've ever imagined. We knew that this would be difficult, and we knew that there would be bad days, but we decided to power through it. It has made each time that we are able to see each other so much more special and meaningful.

Seeing each other has become more of spending time with each other than just laying around on the couch playing around on our phones. It's become really getting to know each other better and catching up on all the things we had missed. It's become a time for us to simply be in each other's presence and enjoy being able to talk face to face without a phone in the middle of us. We go on more adventurous dates, we take more pictures, and I think we would both easily say that we fall more and more in love with each other after each opportunity we have to spend time together.

Spending time together is no longer a daily activity, but it has become a right to be earned through hard work and several paychecks as travel can become expensive. We no longer take opportunities to see each other for granted, and it has made us grow closer because we aren't able to spend time together often. We look forward to the days when we won't have to worry about being apart but know that this is only a stepping stone in our relationship.

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Men, Girls Are A Lot More Simple Than You Think, Please Stop Trying To Make Things Complicated

We really aren't that complicated, maybe men just need to start listening to what we're saying.

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Are some girls complicated? Yes. Then again some men are extremely complicated as well. The real problem isn't all that complicated to understand though. What many people fail to realize is that communication (or rather the lack thereof), can make relationships super easy but also super confusing. Whether it be in person, texting, over the phone or nothing at all, how you choose to communicate with someone affects how they respond. Most girls in general just want to able to communicate with the person they're interested in. They want to be able to express their emotions and feelings without fear of being ghosted or chastised. In today's age, it's hard to open up to other people because social media has made us put up all these walls. Walls that protect us from being hurt or teased, but also block us from showing the world who we really are.

As a woman, I find it especially frustrating when my guy friends make jokes about how complicated the girls they're talking to can be. Usually, they'll explain the situation, show me some texts or snap messages and expect me to agree with them. Sometimes I do and I'll agree that maybe the girl wasn't being as straightforward or clear as one could hope. Most of the time though, I'll find that my guy friend is the one making things way more complicated then they need to be.

You see, most people want to be invited to things whether it's a simple hang out or a house party, it's nice to know someone wants you to come. I've come to realize that men do not understand what inviting someone is. They send unemotional last minute texts like "you should come" or "party tonight?" that makes the person receiving them feel anything but special. The problem is, is that texts or snaps like these make the receiver feel like asking them was a chore or something you thought of last minute. There was no planning or excitement within the message to make seem as if you actually wanted them to come. How it comes off is, you are cool about them coming but you were also fine if they didn't. And that's where it becomes complicated.

Girls, in general, aren't complicated, neither are guys. We have made it complicated by communicating through emojis and gifs, instead of just explaining to each other what we want. Most women just want you to want them to come; they don't want a quick text message an hour before a party starts or an entire day to go by before you respond to a call or text. A very easy way to not make things complicated is to just not make it complicated. If you want to see someone, say that. If you like someone, say it. All this bouncing around simple questions makes relationships and dating so much harder than it needs to be.

At the end of the day everyone just wants attention and to be wanted by the person that they like. There is nothing wrong with showing someone that you like them. If your guy friends or girl friends make fun of you for 'catching feelings', just ignore them and don't let it ruin the possibility of a great relationship. And can we please stop calling people complicated when they are just trying to have a normal conversation with you. Instead of jumping to conclusions or becoming frustrated just hear each other out. Actually, listen to what the other person is saying instead of writing them off so quickly.

Girls aren't that complicated - maybe boys just need to learn how to explain their emotions.

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