The Worst Part Of A Breakup Is Having To Watch Them Try So Much Harder With Someone Else After You
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When my last relationship ended, I read every self-help article out there to try and figure out how to gather up the pieces of my heart and move on. I was told that the hardest part would be deleting their pictures. I was told to take my time getting back into the dating scene. I was told to block their number and ignore their texts and more than anything, I was told that time will heal all wounds.

But nobody told me to be cautious of the pain of watching someone you used to care about so deeply try so much harder to make a relationship work with someone else after you.

Nobody told me that I would find out he'd been in a relationship for four months now, on a random Sunday during what's supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. Nobody told me that at first I wouldn't believe it, and then I'd go numb. I wouldn't feel anything but the pit in the bottom of my stomach. Nobody told me that I'd spend hours that weekend searching through his and her social media for answers, for clues, and for "I love you"s.

But that's exactly what happened.

No self-help book, no relationship article, no love song on the radio could prepare me for the pain of watching someone I truly loved put more effort into trying to make his new relationship work than he ever did into ours. Nobody could've ever helped me understand just how much this would hurt.

I think it hit my self-esteem the most. What was wrong with me? Why wasn't I worth fighting for? I asked myself these questions as I laid in bed staring at my ceiling or as I took a shower and let the warm water hit my body to take away the lack of warmth. She had something about her that made her worth keeping. I had something within me that made me better off as an ex.

I was over my ex. I was going on dates again. I didn't drunk text him every time I went out to the bar. I stopped writing about him. He was nothing more than my ex, someone I thought of distantly, until I found out he was putting all the effort I wish he would've put into our relationship into keeping the love strong with someone else.

The worst part of a breakup isn't the awkwardness of their Tinder profile popping up as you do your nightly swiping. It isn't having to delete and block them from your social media. It isn't loosing connection with their friends and family. The hardest part of a breakup will forever be watching them try so hard to maintain their newfound love, knowing damn well they dumped you to the side like you were nothing.

I could never prepare myself for a pain like that.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

17 Things To Do With Noodles Since You’re Single And Not Gettin’ Any Nudes

The limit does not exist

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We all have hobbies we do when we're heartbroken—Izzie Stevens from "Grey's Anatomy" baked muffins, hundreds of muffins, Taylor Swift makes record-breaking songs, and other people make pasta. We all know if we could have it carbs would be its own food group, forget protein when there are thousands of things you can do with pasta.

So if you are single and alone and don't know what to do, head to the kitchen, boil some water and get to work.

Here are the things you should do with leftover pasta when you're single:

1. Make A Wig

Justin Timberlake did this with ramen noodles on his head.

2. Bathe in it

If you haven't seen "Patch Adams" you should, but in the end, he makes an old ladies dream come true. She wanted to bathe in a pool of pasta. Ever since seeing this I have wondered what it would feel like. So if you have time and like a zillion boxes of pasta and don't mind the mess, let me know how this works out for you.

3. Make spaghetti tacos

Who else watched "iCarly?" Well if you did you must remember the famous Spaghetti Tacos that was shown throughout the running of the show. Whoever thought mixing Mexican and Italian food would make for a crazy treat?

4. Throw it at the ceiling, let it stick, and try to catch it in your mouth

If it will stick it a wall it will stick to your ceiling. Even though there is a chance it will be stuck up there, there is also a chance it will fall and you are probably hungry. Why else would you be making pasta? Well, just try to catch it with your mouth the worst thing that will happen is that it will fall on your face.

5. Invite your girlfriends over and have a pasta challenge

Everyone loves pasta. So, invite some friends over for a pasta challenge. Everyone makes different dishes, and everyone leaves full! Grab a bottle of wine, eat and drink up!

6. Make rainbow pasta

Time to try out your skills to the test and make rainbow pasta. Have fun with it and make a mess, that's what cooking is all about.

7. Open your own Olive Garden or Fazoli's

So you're probably a master chef by now, so your skills to the test. Take the risk and open a chain restaurant. Feed the people of the world with your skills.

8. Try to make the world's largest noodle

The record for the Longest noodle has been broken after a Chinese food company successfully cooked a single strip measuring a whopping 3,084 m (10,119 ft 1.92 in). Since you have a lot of time on your hands now you can become one with the pasta. I believe in you.

9. Wear penne noodles as rings

Cut a piece of string the size of your finger and slip it through the flimsy pasta and BAM you got a ring. If this doesn't work for you use some manicotti noddles should be big enough to slide right into your fingers, just cut to size.

10. Give back and feed the homeless

It is always good to donate your time and give back. Thousands if not millions of homeless people go hungry each night, but we all know when we make pasta we always make enough to feed an army. So how about going out and feeding those less fortunate than us?

10. Lock yourself away, ugly cry, and eat your pasta

WE WILL NOT JUDGE!

Who needs ice cream when you have carbs? Go head put on "The Notebook" turn off the lights, and eat your heart out.

12. Macaroni art

Your probably sick of eating with it so play with it.

13. Try to make a Bob Ross painting out of the rainbow pasta you made earlier

The new trend seems to be doing Bob Ross Paintings on anything but a canvas. Using everything from makeup to frosting. By this point you have probably already mastered rainbow pasta, so join the trend with rainbow pasta.

14. Create an Instagram account just for all the pasta you've made

Share with the world your new passion. Who knows who you will inspire!

15. Pasta, but make it fashion

If Lady Gaga can rock a meat dress, someone can rock a pasta dress. So get to work and maybe by the time your done you'll be showing your avant-garde look at fashion week or maybe just end up on "Project Runway."

16. Have a food fight

Has anyone ever denied a food fight? Gather your friends, get some white shirts, and make a mess. By the time you're done, you'll probably laugh on the floor not even worried about the massive mess. You deserve to have fun.

17. Pig out

Although eating a large amount of pasta is shamed upon by society, you obviously made it for a reason so why not enjoy it? Just put those sweats on and eat up.

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To The Girl Who Thinks Getting A Boyfriend Will Fix Everything, Sorry, It Doesn't Work That Way

People say that you can't properly love someone else if you don't love yourself, and no matter how annoying it is to hear, it's true.

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Hey, you.

I want to start off by saying that I may be a hypocrite by writing this, but I don't care. There's that whole saying, "Do as I say, not as I do," right? Let's go with that because I've been in your shoes. I have thought many times that everything wrong in my life like low self-esteem and loneliness would go away if I wasn't single. It doesn't. It really, really doesn't, and maybe by reading this, you will realize that.

So, I'm gonna be as straightforward and honest as I can be based on my experiences.

There's still a chance you won't agree with me. Maybe you will have to do what I did. You may have to date the wrong people before you realize it isn't fixing anything. And let me tell you, it's not fun, but I got through it. So will you.

I always believed that if I fell in love with someone that I would automatically be able to fall in love with myself, no matter how painfully cliche and melodramatic that may sound. I found out this was not true the hard way, by dating someone and quickly realizing that I didn't become an amazingly confident person as a consequence. No matter how annoying it is to hear from your lecturing mother or meddling friend, you can't properly love someone else if you don't know how to love yourself first. This is not me saying that you have to become the epitome of self-confidence. No one that I have ever met is, even if it seems like it at first. I know that I'm not, and I highly doubt that I ever will be. However, this is me saying that you have to stop looking for validation from other people, whether that be from friends, family, or a significant other.

I know you're probably being really harsh on yourself right now.

You probably don't always like what you see in the mirror, maybe you never do, and I am so sorry you feel that way. If I had to guess, I'd say you probably keep repeating things like "I am not good enough" in your head like it's your own personal mantra. Probably because it is. You've made it your motto these days after all. The solution you have thought up is this: I will find someone that will make me feel better. I will find someone that will be my own form of reassurance, of motivation to stop hating myself.

I'm sorry, but it really doesn't work that way.

I know you hate it when you're scrolling through some form of social media and you have to stare at all the pictures of couples holding hands with those cliche Pinterest quotes. I know that there is probably some sort of jealous ache when you double tap on your friend's Instagram picture with their boyfriend.

Being lonely is the worst feeling, but let me tell you something that I know from experience, and I am going to be blunt: Starting a new relationship with someone just for the sake of not being alone anymore will make you feel worse, not better.

At the end of the day, the problem is that these kinds of relationships end. Then, there is a whole new ounce of self-loathing to add to the pot.

There isn't a person on this Earth that will automatically make all of your insecurities, your problems, your negative thoughts and emotions disappear. You have to realize that you're great on your own, not just because someone else tells you so. You are great though, just for the record. You are just as great on your own as you will be alongside another person someday. Just give yourself some time first to find out how fantastic of a person you are.

You need to give yourself more credit. You deserve more than a half-assed relationship. You deserve real love, no matter how cheesy that sounds. You deserve to be in a relationship with someone that you are head over heels for and that is head over heels for you in return. I understand that you're lonely. I understand that you may feel like the odd one out. I understand that it sucks to be the third wheel, but take it from me: a person that has had two best friends be in love with each other for the past two and a half years. It's gonna suck sometimes, but don't date the first guy that comes along.

Give yourself the time you deserve. You have you're whole life ahead of you to date the wrong guys and get your heart broken (I'm sorry if that is pessimistic, but I told you this was gonna be an honest letter). Don't increase your bad luck by pushing yourself. Life goes by fast enough, or so my wise elders have existentially told me.

No, a boyfriend is not what you need right now.

You need a friend. You need to be your own friend. You need to start realizing that you have a lot going on right now and that it is OK, that there are probably thousands, maybe millions of girls just like you feel the same way. I know that I felt like you before, and sometimes I thought that feeling would never go away. But it does. It always does, and before you know it it will happen for you.

The day will come that you look in the mirror and think you are beautiful, and you'll be happy. And that's when it happens. That is the time that someone will come up behind you and say, "Yes, you are."

But you will already know it by then.

Sincerely,

A Friend

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