To The Boy Who Loves Me Next, You're Allowed To Leave Me

To The Boy Who Loves Me Next, You're Allowed To Leave Me

And I am not scared of it happening anymore.

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"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable." -C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

I used to, in the past, fall for people because they made me feel like it was safe to.

The guy who brought me flowers on the first date, told me he would follow me anywhere a week and a half after meeting me, and blew hundreds of dollars to impress me, seemed like the right option. I was so proud of myself for ending the cycle of going for the "wrong guy." I ignored all of the red flags because he was a comfortable, safe choice. If he was that emotionally connected to me, I should like him. I chose to pursue him over a guy I had feelings for at the time because I felt like it was the "right" choice to be with the "good guy." It didn't matter that I felt nothing when he kissed me, that we had nothing in common, and that I truly was not okay with some of his life decisions. It didn't matter that he treated me horribly, because as long as I felt like he was loyal to me, needed me, and wouldn't leave me, I didn't care what happened within those parameters. I fell for security, or the illusion of security. I didn't fall for a person.

The biggest fear I had was if I let my guard down for somebody, that they would walk away. I couldn't have known that choosing security, choosing the person I didn't think would walk away, would carry me right into the most toxic and suffocating relationship possible — one that drained all of the life force out of me and actually never ended up making me feel any positive feelings. He mistreated me over and over, leaving permanent scars on my heart that I'm not sure will ever fully heal. But I felt like I had invested too much emotion already. Opening my heart up was the most difficult thing I had done, and I didn't think I could ever do it again after the immense failure I felt had come from that relationship. So, it was better to be safe with the devil I knew than the devil I didn't.

Eventually, though, the hurt came. He did leave, and it felt like he had taken everything from me but my ability to feel pain. Despite me choosing the safest route I could possibly find, I still was left totally devastated. But I wasn't devastated over losing him. I was devastated over losing my security.

This, unfortunately, is the caveat of love. If you can manage to fall for someone when they fall for you, you are very lucky. But you will never have that guarantee. Somebody could promise you on their lives that they will never leave, they will never lose interest, that they will be the one in your life who doesn't hurt you, but they still don't owe you anything. You could be with somebody for years and years and they could wake up one day and decide that they don't love you anymore. In a healthy relationship, the person you're with needs to feel like they have this freedom, and you need to be comfortable with them having it.

We have to be strong enough to be okay with this harsh truth. There are no guarantees in love, or in life. It is devastating to fall for somebody and to lose them. But the solution to this is not to avoid falling for people — the solution is to accept that you might lose them. But you must love them despite that.

You must love despite the risk because it is selfish to love somebody only when they have proven to be a low-risk investment for you.

You must love despite the risk because love is not rooted in codependency and safety.

You must love despite the risk because that is the only way you will ever be able to experience the deeply satisfying feeling of being vulnerable with somebody with absolutely no expectations of them, knowing what you're risking and doing it anyway, throwing caution to the wind- and for them to return it.

You must love despite the risk because everybody you love will eventually be taken away from you. Permanence in love simply does not exist.

You must love despite the risk because you are strong enough to.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

12 Things To Know Before Dating A Girl Who Loves Country Singers More Than She Loves You

They’re just as important as you, babe.

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If you're about to fall for a girl who falls for country singers, prepare yourself by knowing the following:

1. The playlist 

My playlist will go from Luke Combs to Blake Shelton and you'll have to deal with it. Your playlists are not an option. I will go on and on about how beautiful their voice is, but don't get jealous.

2. Releases

I will set alarms for new releases like Luke Combs "The Prequel" and you HAVE to be as excited as I am. I will be more excited about these releases than I am about anything else in life, but suck it up buttercup.

3. Concerts

I will give up time with you to go see my favorite singers and you’ll just have to understand. You can either join or not, but the plans aren’t changing.

4. Lyrics

You will hear me quote their lyrics more than I’ll say I love you, but just know I still love you.

5. Car rides

Every car ride will include country music, while it will most likely be Luke Combs or Adam Doleac blaring on the radio, you better enjoy every bit of it.

6. I will talk about how beautiful they are.

You’ll hear about their looks often, wether it be Luke Combs eyes or Luke Bryan’s voice, the looks will be brought up. Don’t get jealous, you’re just as handsome.

7. Their voices

Their voices are BEAUTIFUL. While I personally favor Luke Combs, just know I love yours too.

8. Phone backgrounds 

My phone background is most likely some country singer and not a picture of us, but you’re important, I promise.

9. Home Decor 

I will have pictures of Faren Rachels and I up before I have some of us, but realize I have plenty of pictures of us and one with her.

10. Awards

Whenever any awards are on, they’re number one priority compared to your Braves games. You can always watch recaps.

11. Singing 

I will randomly start singing any song by them and probably interrupt any story you're telling, sorry they're on my mind.

12. Dates

I will make sure any release dates for new songs, albums, or concerts are on my calendar; however, I will probably forget our anniversaries.

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I Asked 10 Brides What They Wish They Had Done Differently While Wedding Planning And Their Responses Ring True

When the engagement celebration sets in and the wedding planning begins, 10 brides give their advice on how to plan a kick-ass wedding.

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Maybe it's just me, but I was almost in a state of denial after our engagement. I was on this cloud and I didn't want to start thinking about what's next. But a week later we started thinking about possible dates, venues, and budgets and that when the stress began— which wasn't fun.

It's hard not comparing one's wedding and planning processes to those of the movies and other friends. But every wedding is as different as the couple themselves are; that's what makes a wedding spectacular and amazing! So with wedding planning, I have found some of the best advice I have received has been from first-hand experience. These 10 Brides have something to say when asked the question, "What is one thing you wish you hadn't stressed so much when planning your wedding?"

1. Too much pressure on the event.

"Putting too much emphasis on the event, rather than the reason for being there. Make a commitment to God and each other to make it through the good and the bad times. That's what really matters!" Denise, married December 24th, 1994

2. Take in the moment and live it!

"About the wedding day being perfect, it's gonna go how it's gonna go. Don't stress about it, just take in the moment and live it. Oh and don't be a bridezilla. Ruins the day and the mood." Kayla, married December 9th, 2016

3. Do only what you want to do!

"Worrying about everyone else! It's YOUR DAY! Do only what you want to do!" Ashleigh, June 7th, 2017

4. Don't stress the small stuff!

" Planning wasn't that stressful for me! But when it came to the actual day, there were so many things that I was like, 'this literally doesn't matter.' Such as the flowers or decorations or the little details. Of course they were all great and everything looked amazing. But little details you don't even notice on your wedding day. For me, the day went by SOOO fast! Everything was so fast paced and so I didn't even have time to glance at the decorations table or card table. Don't stress the small stuff! Because on your actual day, it'll be the last thing on your mind! Because you'll just wanna see your groom so bad that nothing else matters!" Kelsie, married August 19th, 2018

5. Too many little details that nobody else cared about.

"Too many little details that nobody else cared about that I cared about too much! So much time went into it which I loved, but it's more about spending time with all the people that you love in your life! They don't care how much money you spend on the day or if everything goes perfectly. They just want you to have a good day and they want to celebrate you and your love and marriage!" Savannah, married October 1st, 2017

6. It's about you and your spouse.

"How much other people thought things are important to them. Dang this is my day and what's important to me and my spouse is what matters. It's about us." Denise, married July 28th, 2007.

7. Having the "perfect picture" like everyone else in my mind had.

"Definitely all the details that you don't really notice, like the seating chart at the reception. Don't stress about getting things done the week of the wedding, if it doesn't get done then it doesn't get done. You're going to get married regardless and no one will even notice it. I also had to keep reminding myself, it's about the marriage, not the wedding. Pictures/video were a big thing I stressed about because I wanted it all to be "perfect" pictures like everyone else in my mind had...I spent so much time finding pictures and trying to match those pictures that I didn't enjoy the picture finding process. I would also say that the night before the wedding don't stress too much about all the details that you hadn't gotten to because it's going to be beautiful and you need sleep, especially if you are going on your honeymoon right away because then you wind up sick...
One big one I stressed about a lot was how well all the pinks in my wedding matched (I'm OCD) Cloth napkins, table runners, the bridesmaid dresses, to the decorations." Presley, married August 18th, 2018

8. The guest list

"Honestly I stressed about the guest list the most and still do even now. Since my fiance and I are both from a small town and both have big families, it took us quite a while to get the guest list figured out. Our wedding budget was also a factor in determining how many people we wanted to have as well. At the wedding you want people there that are an influence on your life and it's hard looking back thinking of all the people that have been a part of it over the last many years. Once that was figured out it was a big relief, but it has also been fun planning everything. Even the guest list." -Morgan, getting married in June of 2019.

9. Thinking too much about making it different or comparable to other weddings.

"I'm a people-pleaser by nature. And because we are young I worried about people looking at our wedding and judging based on what we didn't have. I compared it too much to my other friends' weddings, YouTuber's weddings, and the stuff you see in the movies. And finances were a big stress in the early stages as well. But once we took a step back to just process what our wedding meant to us as a couple and what we want our marriage to be, we were able to lighten up a lot and have more fun! Yes, we had to refocus our finances and savings, but really we just kept reminding one another that this was one day to the rest of our lives together as husband and wife. The best is yet to come. - Megan (Me) Getting married in September of 2019!


It's easy to get into the mindset that your wedding has to be "perfect" and it has to look like weddings in the movies or in the pictures of other people. But that's what's amazing about weddings. They are uniquely yours. If you have a hard time getting out of this mindset like I do a lot of the time, just think about your fiance. Remember that you are committing forever to the one you love. Marriage is more than just one day.

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