Don't Break Yourself Trying To Fix The Unfixable Boy

Don't Break Yourself Trying To Fix The Unfixable Boy

Be warned—in the end the only thing you'll be fixing is your broken heart.

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Too many times have I watched my friends break themselves in an attempt to fix a boy. Too many times I've been that girl myself. Trying to fix the boy who is emotionally unavailable, a player, a low-key alcoholic or has a temper, but he's just "misunderstood." I don't know why we ladies find ourselves trying to fix a guy when we are perfectly capable of dating someone who already has their shit together, but for some reason, we continue to pursue that unfixable boy.

Maybe it's because he is a challenge. If you're the one who fixes him then you're special because so many girls tried and failed before you. Maybe it's that maternal instinct inside of us. Constantly picking up the mess made by this dysfunctional boy. All I have to say is be warned—one day the mess you're picking up could be the broken pieces of your heart.

We pour all of this energy and devotion into a guy who doesn't even appreciate it. Maybe he does, to begin with, but what I have learned about "fixing" people is that it never truly goes as planned. Someone who is broken is either in the process of healing, doesn't want to be fixed or doesn't believe they are broken.



If someone is healing it's a lot easier to be there and help, maybe that's not a complete waste of your energy. The guys I am warning you to stay away from are the ones who don't want to be fixed— or worse the ones who don't even think they're broken.

Guys who don't want to be fixed are perfectly capable of fixing whatever their vice is. If they know they have a problem that's the first step. The next one is fixing it. If you are dating or talking to a guy (and let's face it Y'all are probably only talking cause he's "not ready for commitment") he will make changes that are needed in order to make you happy. Nothing you do will fix him if he doesn't want to be fixed. If he isn't making changes for you then he probably is never planning to.

The most unfixable guy is the guy who doesn't believe he's broken. At first, he will make it seem like he has been wronged. By someone else or by life itself. You'll help him through that and then eventually YOU become his target. All of a sudden everything is always your fault. The relationship is full of accusations and he is always the victim.

We pour all of this love and devotion into a guy thinking and hoping he will change. Just for him to move onto someone else or to hurt you. It isn't worth the risk. It isn't worth losing yourself.

These types of guys never fail to leave you broken and drained. In the process of trying to fix someone, you break yourself.

My advice? Dig deep inside yourself and try to figure out why you have this desire to fix people or why you allow yourself to settle. Are there problems of your own you're trying to distract yourself from? Do you feel unworthy of a healthy love? Pour that energy that you've been wasting on guys who suck into yourself.

While you're at it, try going for a guy who has their shit together. You'd be surprised how well those relationships work out.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

10 Soulful Luke Combs Lyrics To Get You Through That Bad Breakup

Breakups are tough, but Luke Combs is here to help.

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Breakups are very hard to deal with, whether you ended the relationship or your significant other did. The clock on the wall will cure it all and so will Luke Combs, so here's 10 lyrics to do exactly that:

1. "But the clock on the wall will cure it all, even though that ain't how it seems"

2. "You wrecked my world when you came and hit me like a hurricane"

3. "Whoever said it ain't the end of the world and you'll find somebody new, must've never met you"

4. "I picked myself up off the floor and found something new worth living for"

5. "Don't know what you got 'till it's gone, and you're out on your own. All you want is what you can't get back"

6. "And I ain't gotta see my ex future mother-in-law anymore. Oh lord, when it rains it pours"

7. "I'm one number away from calling you. I said I was through, but I'm dying inside"

8. "The second I left, I was kicking myself cause I knew I should've stayed."

9. "I didn't know then, but I sure know now that long neck iced cold beer never broke my heart"

10. "There's a lot of things in this 'ole world I can stand, but when it comes to losing you I just can't"

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4 Reasons I Will NEVER Get Back Together With Any Of My Ex-Boyfriends

It's your loss babe, not mine.

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For being so young I have gone through so much unfair and unnecessary pain because I tried to find love too quick. I have not had one relationship end on good terms and I wish I could say it was all their fault, but I cannot help but to believe there must be something I am doing wrong.

In this generation, people say "I love you" too fast and goodbye too soon. We millennials put all our passion in the beginning of things, forgetting there are greater ends to be discovered. My soul has beaten down, broken, and lost to multiple men that I believed had true intentions. Even though I have never had a good relationship, to be extremely honest, if I knew when I was younger who would break my heart I would never try to change it.

Somedays, like the day I am writing this on, I feel empty and lost because of the suffering that I have experienced and I feel as though I will never be good enough and never find complete happiness. On other days I rejoice because the men that have broken my heart have humbled me. I am loathsome and grateful for them and my experiences with them all at the same time.

Although there are saddening times and certain things that I miss about my exes I will never get back together with any of them for four reasons.

1. Immaturity.

I started dating when I was 13. My first real boyfriend, and what I thought at the time to be first my first real love, broke up with me through text on New Year's Eve. My 13-year-old self was devastated and thought my entire world was ending. Clearly, that is an experience I remember and tell because the kids in middle school and junior high really believe that they are with their forever person, but they have a huge awakening because immaturity does not go well with relationships.

2. Cheating.

Getting cheated on broke my entire image of myself and I couldn't find one good quality about myself because I truly believed that if there was one that he would not have done it. I was wrong, and I wish the day that I found out he had cheated on me that I would not have begged for him to stay with me. After choosing another girl over me I should have realized he is and never will be the truly good man I need and he does not deserve the woman I am.

3. We changed.

I'm not completely the same person I was three months again, let alone 2 years again, and honestly, neither is he. Growing apart is not a bad thing, it is something that just happens naturally. Years later, when we speak, I may not laugh at the same jokes anymore and I may not smile at the same things that I did when I was 16. We both have been with other people and have seen and done new things, there is nothing wrong with that. It is just simply moving on. As Sam Waterson said, "If you're not moving forward, you're falling back." I chose to move forward with my life over falling back into my toxic relationships and for that, I have changed into someone I love and someone they will never have again.

4. You let me down.

I have two expectations of men when it comes to dating, to be loyal and to be loving. A relationship is nothing without trust and giving the same energy back that you put in. That is completely what all my past relationships have lacked. My exes have let me down because they could not fill my expectations that should be what is in any normal, healthy relationship. In today's world, everyone has commitment issues and not many people know how to let themselves just fall. That is devastating for the people that do because they, like myself, get hurt and are made to feel it's their fault.

To everyone I've dated or talked to, thank you for breaking my heart and showing me that you are exactly what I do not need in my life.

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