Your Texting Doesn't Mean S**t

Your Texting Doesn't Mean S**t

Here is the definitive answer to why that guy Brad you f***ed isn't texting you back.
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Modern dating is a shitshow. With constant connection through social media and the increasing inter-connectedness, our privacy and alone time has been cut drastically. Most people nowadays, through text, talk as much in the first week as our parents did in the first three months. This ability to constantly keep in touch with someone is a new concept in society and right now we are in the throws of its adaptation.

With unlimited texting standards on most phone plans and countless free messaging apps, it has never been easier to establish and maintain contact with someone. This translates into dating because now it's easy to have sustained contact and conversation with someone before ever meeting them in person.

From this concept comes the practice of "breadcrumbing" or texting a girl, leading her into thinking that you will take her on a date and want to get serious, but never actually taking her on a date and the whole time use daily conversation to build a rapport so eventually you can hit her up late night with the "u up?" text and she will know you well enough in order to feel comfortable hooking up and after you can "ghost" her, which means cutting all contact with someone. Breadcrumbing, also known as "fuckboy activity" is used because women, generically, are very susceptible to believing what a guy is saying and ignoring what he does.

In the instance of breadcrumbing, what is going through a woman's mind this whole time is that this guy seems serious because he talks about how he wants to take her out and although it never happens, in this case, it truly is "the thought that counts." Meanwhile, they text and build a rapport and engage in conversation, leading her to feel comfortable with this guy even though they have never met in person, they talk all the time so he must like her! This culminates when he hits her up late at night and her first thought isn't "Oh I've never seen this guy in person, I don't really know him" but "OMG I can actually see him in person now and that's awesome because I know so much about him!"

So the hookup happens and the sex is probably good because that personality side of attraction is already there, which definitely ups the chances of said female catching feelings and then the guy disappears from her life, having completed his end goal of fucking her. It's at this stage in which the girl is usually quite butthurt about the whole thing because she thought they had a connection when in reality she just ended up reading into the situation too much and trusting his words over his actions, leading her to feel betrayed.

Now some might say "Well it's her fault for being naive," but I think it's more about being aware of the tactics and not letting yourself fall into the trap. While what the guy did is hella fucked up, saying "Hey, that's bad don't do that," will not make people stop doing something. I mean look people still say retarded even though it's now "offensive."

As a woman, the best way to protect yourself against this mindset of "texting means a guy is into me" is you have to force yourself to look at someone's actions and not their words, for that is the most telling of who they are. And if a guy hits you up late night and you're looking for something serious, respond with "why don't we do something during the day" and it'll force his hand on whether he wants to end talking to you or get serious about grabbing drinks.

Cover Image Credit: Odyssey

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

11 reasons It's important to Be a 'Good Ex'

Because being petty and vengeful isn't cute

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Bad exes are truly an epidemic and, for all of our peace at mind, they need to be stopped. There's the exes who blow up our social media and our phones, leave desperate voicemails, stalk us in public, ask our friends how we're doing all the time…and plenty others who go to extensive ends just to get our attention (mostly in a bad way).

But what about you? Are you being courteous, sophisticated, and respectful of each other's boundaries and privacy?

If not, you really should be...and here's why:


It can definitely be tempting to be petty and subtweet your ex-boyfriend just so the world can know how awful he is. It's even more satisfying to rant about him to one of his close pals, or to throw armfuls of eggs at your ex-girlfriend's white Jeep until you've stopped crying. But at the end of the day, know that whatever karma you put out into the universe will come back to you in time. Make sure that you're being a good ex— and ultimately, a good person— if you want to draw your forever love even closer to you.

Cover Image Credit:

Tumblr

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Loving The Wrong Person Can Make You Lose Yourself, Trust me, I would Know

You're just stuck loving the wrong guy in an okay situation.

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In a perfect world, we wouldn't ever have to fall in love with the wrong person. Falling in love with the wrong person means you have to feel all of the right things just to eventually feel all the wrong things too. There's no preparing you for this, and there's no going back once you're already there. You're just stuck loving the wrong guy in an okay situation.

It becomes comfortable, and not too long after, you become stuck.

Loving the wrong guy didn't get me much but it definitely taught me a thing or two.

I'm weak when I'm with the wrong guy. I stop voicing my opinion because I know it's never actually heard. I let things go unsaid because even saying something got me nowhere with him. I allowed for his mistakes to be swept under the rug while we continually played out the ones I made day by day. I was a coward when it came to what I deserved, and that's actually something I will always take credit for. He didn't force me to be weak. He didn't threaten me if I voiced my opinion. He never stopped me from bringing up his mistakes. I did all of that. It was because I knew the aftermath of all of those things came with arguments I didn't have the energy to have, or tears that I didn't have the willpower to cry.

The wrong guy means different things to different people. Some may use you for what you have, while another could cheat, lie, and steal with no problem. Mine just made me feel small and insignificant. He took away my character and molded me into a person I didn't recognize. I became what I promised myself I never would, which was a puppet for him to control. I started to be someone who made decisions based on what I thought a repercussion might be. Not long after that, I noticed every decision I made lose it's meaning because it wasn't actually me making them. I was so caught up in thinking I loved the right person that I realized it was more of that person just loving himself and making me think I did too.

Loving the wrong guy is like falling in a 12-foot hole, and never trying to understand a way out. In that hole, you have everything you actually need to survive, so instead of trying to dream about the ways you can get out and how your life will be different, you accept what it is. You just adapt to what's around you and love the things you have. It's when you finally figure a way out of that soul-depriving ditch when you realize your life was so limited and time was just wasted.

Do you ever stop to look around and ask yourself if this is the life you want for your future kids? Is your happiness enough that you'd feel content with your kids having it for the rest of their life? We love the wrong person, and then we try to tell ourselves he isn't wrong for us. We stay with the wrong person. We get comfortable. We settle into a lifestyle we are not head over heels in love with. We watch the person we once were, turn into a person that is making it work. All because we loved, settled, and stayed with the wrong guy.

I loved the wrong guy.

It taught me obvious things, like strength and clarity.

However, it also taught me deeper things, like what I actually wanted out of my life. It took me way too long to say it to myself, but when I did, I realized there was nothing or no one I would ever settle for again. I'd never let my opinion go unheard, and I would never fear a single repercussion. I'd start to accept who I was and make anyone who couldn't fuck right off. I learned that courage is most respected and deserved when it hurts, but that it makes you truly feel alive. I learned to try actually falling in love with the right guy, but if I don't, take what I learned from the last wrong one, and kick the next one's ass to the curb.

Maybe I lost part of myself when it came to him, but I got it back and made that part even stronger than it used to be.

Cover Image Credit:

https://unsplash.com/search/photos/relationship

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