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17 Reasons To Pound The Man & Cuff Your Dog This Year

Dog: bork. Me: "That was adorable as h*ck."

Taylor Coffey

Jan 03, 2018

The University of Alabama

159

17 Reasons To Pound The Man & Cuff Your Dog This Year

Taylor Coffey

The dog species is the most loving, caring, and an adorable thing that humans have ever encountered. The male species, on the other hand, is trash. Here's why you should cuddle up with your doggo this holiday season instead of any man.

1. They are always down for cuddles.

Cuffing season is renovated. It lasts all year now.

2. They are extremely warm.

Average dog temperature is 102.5 F. WIN.

3. They are as soft as fleece blankets.

Cuddles and warmth and softness. What more could you want? They also love blankets.

4. They will always love you.

Do you even see how excited they get when you arrive at home?!

5. They will never leave you.

Ever.

6. They don't judge you.

OK, well maybe a little. Not as much as a man would though!

7. You don't have to buy them a gift that breaks the bank.

Not to mention, it doesn't take that much to impress them. DOUBLE WIN.

8. They are much cuter than men.

You've heard that men give puppy dog eyes, but they do not compare to ACTUAL puppy dog eyes.

9. They bark when they sense danger, aka men.

Same thing with babies, but I think we can agree that dogs are 100% better than babies.

10. They know when they've done something wrong and they feel guilty about it.

Seriously. It's not that hard, guys.

11. Dogs don't compare your cooking to their moms.

I know that it will never be the same, but at least I'm trying.

12. They don't care if you've shaved your legs.

They have never shaved, so it is completely fine!

13. They don't care if you want them to meet your parents.

In fact, they would love to meet mom and your dad!

14. They 100% mean it when they kiss you.

This, you should never doubt.

15. They are funnier than men.

Have you ever seen a dog chase its tail? Most funny thing ever & they think they have a chance at catching it.

16. They understand what NO means.

They will try their best not to do it again, but keep in mind their memory is not the best. Even when they do the thing again, and you remind them that it is bad, they will guilty about it.

17. They are photogenic.

True models, they are.

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Student Life

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Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

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Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

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I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

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Recommended for you

17 Reasons To Pound The Man & Cuff Your Dog This Year

Dog: *bork*. Me: "That was adorable as h*ck."

1. They are always down for cuddles.

2. They are extremely warm.

3. They are as soft as fleece blankets.

4. They will always love you.

5. They will never leave you.

6. They don't judge you.

7. You don't have to buy them a gift that breaks the bank.

8. They are much cuter than men.

9. They bark when they sense danger, aka men.

10. They know when they've done something wrong and they feel guilty about it.

11. Dogs don't compare your cooking to their moms.

12. They don't care if you've shaved your legs.

13. They don't care if you want them to meet your parents.

14. They 100% mean it when they kiss you.

15. They are funnier than men.

16. They understand what NO means.

17. They are photogenic.

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Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

1. What do you do for a living?

2. What's your favorite color?

3. Do you have any siblings?

4. What's your favorite television show?

5. When is your birthday?

6. What's your biggest goal in life?

7. If you had three wishes granted to you by a genie, what would they be?

8. What's your favorite childhood memory?

9. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

10. Are you a cat or a dog person?

11. Do you believe in a religion or any sort of spiritual power?

12. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?

13. What is your ideal date night?

14. Who was/is your celebrity crush?

15. What's a good way to cheer you up if you're having a bad day?

16. Do you have any tattoos?

17. Can you describe yourself in three words?

18. What makes you the most nervous in life?

19. What's the best gift you have ever received?

20. What do you do to relax/have fun?

21. What are your priorities at this phase of your life?

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

Ingredients

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Ingredients

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There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

A bad day at the lake is still better than a good day not at the lake.

You know the best beaches and coves to go to.

You have no patience for the guy who can't back his trailer into the water right.

Doing the friendly wave to every boat you pass.

The cooler is always packed, mostly with beer.

Giving the idiot who goes 30 in a "No Wake Zone" a piece of your mind.

You have no problem with peeing in the water.

You know the frustration of getting your anchor stuck.

Watching in awe at the bigger, better boats that pass by.

Knowing any swimsuit that you own with white in it is best left for the pool or the ocean.

The momentary fear for your life as you get launched from the tube.

You're able to go to the restaurants by the water wearing minimal clothing.

Having unexpected problems with your boat.

Having a name for your boat unique to you and your life.

There's no better place you'd rather be in the summer.

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

1. My school is incredibly unique.

2. I am not just a number at my school.

3. I feel like I am contributing something to the community.

5. My professors know me and I feel that I can easily communicate with them.

6. The incredible people I've met

7. Opportunities

8. Students want to learn

9. Ability to join a sorority and have a house full of people I know I can talk to anytime I need to

Dog: bork. Me: "That was adorable as h*ck."

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