I was reading one of my favorite websites A Practical Wedding, a site not only for sane wedding planning advice, but also a place within the internet for feminist discourse on marriage, careers, kids, and adult life in general. I read this article that basically says, sometimes no matter what we do we're single and discontent with it. And a lot of the comment said this: getting married, it's all pure, dumb luck. Some of us are single for way longer than we want to be by no choice of our own. Some of us get married young and have many happy years with our beloved.

Luck isn't really something Christians like to talk about. Especially about marriage. Especially when your going to Christian college which is a unique entity in of itself. Today I want to tell you the five myths about marriage and love you will hear on a Christian college campus and my thoughts on them.

Myth 1: Dating is super serious, casually dating is wrong and disobedient. If you can't see yourself potentially marrying this person, don't even think of asking them to join you at Starbucks!

Okay, I know that was a bit dramatic. But dating was so intense at ENC (probably still is) basically you were single, or you were in a committed, exclusive relationship. Of course, there were some outliers, but they were few and far between. But here's the thing, sure if you've been dating someone for over a year and see no future with them and are afraid to break up, do something about that. You need, to be honest with them and yourself.

But if you're just some cute Christian girl and you see some cute Christian guy—ask him out! Go to a movie. Get some coffee, start observing if he has a heart for Jesus and just enjoy his company. And remember, he doesn't have to become your boyfriend just because you went out a few times.

Myth 2: College is the best time to get a spouse if you don't find someone now you probably never will.

For those of you who have heard of conservative, Pensacola Christian College, they actively push in their college literature that choosing a college is the most important decision after becoming a Christian because at college is where you will meet your spouse. For every one of us that manages that (I mean I was one of them), there are way more who just don't. And they're not weirdos or losers or less holy they just didn't find someone at college. Also, most of us are in our late teens and twenties. You don't even understand how young you are. Seriously.

Myth 3: Now that you have a significant other who loves Jesus you will marry them.

I think a lot of people struggled with this one. It was hard to break up with people because many times the people in a relationship had at some point thought they were going to marry each other. Sometimes the fantasy of being together forever overrode the reality that getting married wouldn't be good for the couple in question. I promise it is not the end of the world if you break up with a good Christian.

It isn't wrong to date and even be exclusive with someone and realize you're not meant to be. In fact, this is a really good thing!

Myth 4: If you're dating and you didn't get a ring by spring something is wrong with your relationship.

For those not in the know "ring by spring" is the experience of a couple getting engaged by the spring they graduate. Now that you know of this delightful phrase, I'm here to crush it. When my husband and I had been dating for a year he got me a lovely Claddagh ring. Many people asked and assumed it was a promise ring...it wasn't. I know my husband had clear intentions, but honestly, I was only starting to think we might be in it for the long haul. And then yeah he technically gave me a "ring by spring" (though I never got an actual ring), but it was because us crazy kids decided it was our time, cause trust me people were asking when we were going to get engaged long before I was ready. Do things on your time. I know plenty of happy couples who waited till awhile after graduation, you'll bet the better for it.

Myth 5: Getting married is a really integral part of the Christian life.

News flash: Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was single. The disciples and Jesus are talking one day about marriage and divorce, and the disciples express that being married sounds hard and here's what Jesus responds.

“Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given.For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.” (Matthew 19: 11-12)

Those who can accept being single should, from the mouth of Jesus. It's ironic to me that marriage is so pushed in the church when Jesus was single and Jesus never once called us to marriage. Many times he spoke of how challenging marriage is and the high demands God puts on those who marry. It's not something to be entered into lightly and only one of the many ways to serve the kingdom.

I hope I helped you to shatter some myths about love and marriage. Refer to this often you will hear so much nonsense on a Christian campus. Now if there is one thing I can spread to my single friends it's this: It's really okay if you never get married. You are beautiful, you matter, you are worthy. It sucks you're not getting what you want. I affirm that. Don't let the myths blind you to the truth that marriage is just one part of life. There are so many unique ways this life can be lived; I hope you get what you want, but if you don't it's okay. You'll find your own way, I know it.