6 Things To Keep In Mind When Thinking About Rebounds

6 Things To Keep In Mind When Thinking About Rebounds

"Broken people lead to broken hearts. That's why it's so important to heal from one relationship before you start another."
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What comes to mind when you hear the word rebound?

Heartbreak, one night stand, fake love, lead on…. and many more.

Rebounds aren’t always a bad thing. Sometimes they turn into the most beautiful thing, and other times they help us and grow us into a better person.

In life, we will all have a rebound at least once in our lives, and we will be someone’s rebound. It isn’t always the best feeling, but sometimes it’s the best thing to happen to us. This could open our eyes up to what’s important to us. No matter what the outcome, what matters is how you handle it.

Here are a few different things to think about when thinking about rebounds:

1. “I think I’m over them.”

Sometimes in life, we break-up with someone and think we’re over them. The relationship might have been so bad for so long that we were emotionally out of it before it was officially over. Maybe the person you broke up with was so crazy he/she made it easy to move on. Maybe it was just a mutual agreement to move on because you both are in two different places in your life. Whatever the situation deep down you still really care about this person. You begin to miss how that person used to make you feel, how they use to treat you, how they use to be there for you. You miss having someone that you could call your own and someone that you could tell everything to and who was your “ride or die”. This whole process is when you begin to catch a rebound.

2. “I didn’t do it on purpose.”

Rebounds aren’t picked on purpose. Rebound is found because you miss that special person’s presence. You meet someone new and think they are lovely and they begin to make you feel just as good or better than our ex. This makes our broken heart want for them. So, we begin to “fall” for them. We begin to let ourselves fall back into something. Our heart is craving that loving feeling we are so used to the feeling.

3. “ I need to find myself.”

After a relationship, you need some time for yourself. This time is a time when you begin to get over this person. Even if you think you are over someone right away, take some time. Take some time because sometimes in life you won’t know how much you miss someone until you see them or see something about them. This is when the suppressed feelings begin to come up, and then you start to hurt again. This hurt is okay, it’s part of the healing process, but the last thing you want to do is hurt someone else because you hurt.

4. “ I’m the rebound, I don’t know what to do.”

Being the rebound is something hard too. You have to help build this person back up. You have to make them feel wanted again, and put the puzzle pieces of a broken heart back together. When you begin to notice you’re the rebound, make sure to step back and become a best friend. Don’t try to get serious with this person. Try to help them find themselves again and learn what its like to love life for themselves. They say lovers of friends never, friends to lovers forever. If you like this person is their best friend will feel exactly right. Some time down the road you can become that significant other in their life. I know sometimes it’s hard to watch people hurt but sometimes that’s what needs to happen to feel better. Be the support in their life! Sometimes in hard times you just need that person to talk to, the person will feel more comfortable sharing things with you if you aren’t significantly involved because they won’t be worrying about ruining the relationship.

5. “ I need to fill this void.”

The key to healing after a break up isn’t finding someone new…. a rebound. All the rebound does is fill a void in your life. It doesn’t help you get over the person you loved. The rebound is just someone that can give you the physical and mental affection you are missing because you are single. This person isn’t someone you love. You love the idea of this person, and chances are when you’re on your rebound all you want is your ex. Think about the rebound’s feelings. I know you’re in a low place and need someone, but you need a best friend, not a lover.

6. “ Can’t believe I was just a rebound…”

The impact of being that rebound is devastating. The person works so hard to make you happy and puts their whole heart into the relation, just for you to be half-heartedly in the relationship. That’s not fair. When you are half-heartedly in a relationship, it makes the other person feel like trash, unwanted, used. When you make someone your rebound, you play with their feelings. You don’t want to make someone else hurt because you need to fill a void. Make sure to think about other’s feelings too.

Rebounding isn’t always precisely all of that, but you need to make sure before you get involved with someone new, you are ready and over that ex of yours. You don’t want to hurt someone else because you are hurting yourself. Rebounds aren't terrible, but they can hurt people.

"Never allow loneliness to drive you into the arms of someone you know you don't belong with."

Cover Image Credit: Kendall Gatewood

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Being Far Away From My Boyfriend Actually Strengthened Our Relationship Instead Of Forcing It Apart

While we were apart, we became closer.

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Before I really start this article, I just want to say that my relationship isn't truly a long distance relationship. We are both college students at the same university eight months out of the year, but the other four months we live quite a distance apart. Even during those four months, we are only about 150 miles from each other as the bird flies, but really about three hours from each other.

Being in a relationship where I'm not able to see my boyfriend every day or even every week has been a real challenge. But it's been a good challenge. It hasn't been a challenge because I've felt unfaithful or fallen out of love with him in any way. It's challenging because I miss him. We both work jobs and our schedules aren't the same and oftentimes we aren't able to talk to each other unless it's early in the morning or late at night. There are times when all I want to do is talk to him and tell him about how my day went and get a big bear hug from him. Unfortunately, I'm not really able to do this.

I firmly believe that being apart from each other for days, weeks, or even months have brought us closer than we could've ever imagined. We knew that this would be difficult, and we knew that there would be bad days, but we decided to power through it. It has made each time that we are able to see each other so much more special and meaningful.

Seeing each other has become more of spending time with each other than just laying around on the couch playing around on our phones. It's become really getting to know each other better and catching up on all the things we had missed. It's become a time for us to simply be in each other's presence and enjoy being able to talk face to face without a phone in the middle of us. We go on more adventurous dates, we take more pictures, and I think we would both easily say that we fall more and more in love with each other after each opportunity we have to spend time together.

Spending time together is no longer a daily activity, but it has become a right to be earned through hard work and several paychecks as travel can become expensive. We no longer take opportunities to see each other for granted, and it has made us grow closer because we aren't able to spend time together often. We look forward to the days when we won't have to worry about being apart but know that this is only a stepping stone in our relationship.

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It’s Harder FINDING Someone Who Wants To Be In A Relationship Than Actually Being In One

Oh millennials, we have made a mess of the dating scene...

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I got super lucky once.

I wasn't looking for a guy, but I happened to find the exact one who wanted a long relationship. It's always when you least suspect it, isn't it? I'm newly single, but not quite ready to mingle.

Sure, there are plenty of new fish in the sea, but even they aren't sure if they are ready to sink or swim yet.

No, it doesn't have to be hard to have a relationship. I did long-distance on-and-off for four years, but we pushed through it because we cared about the relationship.

People can make it really tough on themselves to find that perfect person. It makes sense, we all want the right person that fits all of our needs and checks all of our boxes. But I think we as a society are a little more flawed than that. We also have needs of our own and those needs can really get in the way of our time together.

Say you find a person you could see yourself really being with. They will be there for your crying sessions, when you fail a test, when a loved one dies. But will they be there to also lift you up in your darkest moments and laugh together at every free moment? It seems a lot to ask of somebody, but in reality, it's just living.

Avril Lavigne was right, "why do you have to go and makes things so complicated?" In the long run, you'll always be upset if you keep up a checklist that no one can master. I'm finding out myself that not everyone is able to fulfill the basic requirements of a fun loving and easygoing boyfriend, but there is hope that one day, someone will.

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