6 Things To Keep In Mind When Thinking About Rebounds

6 Things To Keep In Mind When Thinking About Rebounds

"Broken people lead to broken hearts. That's why it's so important to heal from one relationship before you start another."
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What comes to mind when you hear the word rebound?

Heartbreak, one night stand, fake love, lead on…. and many more.

Rebounds aren’t always a bad thing. Sometimes they turn into the most beautiful thing, and other times they help us and grow us into a better person.

In life, we will all have a rebound at least once in our lives, and we will be someone’s rebound. It isn’t always the best feeling, but sometimes it’s the best thing to happen to us. This could open our eyes up to what’s important to us. No matter what the outcome, what matters is how you handle it.

Here are a few different things to think about when thinking about rebounds:

1. “I think I’m over them.”

Sometimes in life, we break-up with someone and think we’re over them. The relationship might have been so bad for so long that we were emotionally out of it before it was officially over. Maybe the person you broke up with was so crazy he/she made it easy to move on. Maybe it was just a mutual agreement to move on because you both are in two different places in your life. Whatever the situation deep down you still really care about this person. You begin to miss how that person used to make you feel, how they use to treat you, how they use to be there for you. You miss having someone that you could call your own and someone that you could tell everything to and who was your “ride or die”. This whole process is when you begin to catch a rebound.

2. “I didn’t do it on purpose.”

Rebounds aren’t picked on purpose. Rebound is found because you miss that special person’s presence. You meet someone new and think they are lovely and they begin to make you feel just as good or better than our ex. This makes our broken heart want for them. So, we begin to “fall” for them. We begin to let ourselves fall back into something. Our heart is craving that loving feeling we are so used to the feeling.

3. “ I need to find myself.”

After a relationship, you need some time for yourself. This time is a time when you begin to get over this person. Even if you think you are over someone right away, take some time. Take some time because sometimes in life you won’t know how much you miss someone until you see them or see something about them. This is when the suppressed feelings begin to come up, and then you start to hurt again. This hurt is okay, it’s part of the healing process, but the last thing you want to do is hurt someone else because you hurt.

4. “ I’m the rebound, I don’t know what to do.”

Being the rebound is something hard too. You have to help build this person back up. You have to make them feel wanted again, and put the puzzle pieces of a broken heart back together. When you begin to notice you’re the rebound, make sure to step back and become a best friend. Don’t try to get serious with this person. Try to help them find themselves again and learn what its like to love life for themselves. They say lovers of friends never, friends to lovers forever. If you like this person is their best friend will feel exactly right. Some time down the road you can become that significant other in their life. I know sometimes it’s hard to watch people hurt but sometimes that’s what needs to happen to feel better. Be the support in their life! Sometimes in hard times you just need that person to talk to, the person will feel more comfortable sharing things with you if you aren’t significantly involved because they won’t be worrying about ruining the relationship.

5. “ I need to fill this void.”

The key to healing after a break up isn’t finding someone new…. a rebound. All the rebound does is fill a void in your life. It doesn’t help you get over the person you loved. The rebound is just someone that can give you the physical and mental affection you are missing because you are single. This person isn’t someone you love. You love the idea of this person, and chances are when you’re on your rebound all you want is your ex. Think about the rebound’s feelings. I know you’re in a low place and need someone, but you need a best friend, not a lover.

6. “ Can’t believe I was just a rebound…”

The impact of being that rebound is devastating. The person works so hard to make you happy and puts their whole heart into the relation, just for you to be half-heartedly in the relationship. That’s not fair. When you are half-heartedly in a relationship, it makes the other person feel like trash, unwanted, used. When you make someone your rebound, you play with their feelings. You don’t want to make someone else hurt because you need to fill a void. Make sure to think about other’s feelings too.

Rebounding isn’t always precisely all of that, but you need to make sure before you get involved with someone new, you are ready and over that ex of yours. You don’t want to hurt someone else because you are hurting yourself. Rebounds aren't terrible, but they can hurt people.

"Never allow loneliness to drive you into the arms of someone you know you don't belong with."

Cover Image Credit: Kendall Gatewood

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

To The Boyfriend Who Makes It Feel Like Valentine's Day Every Single Day Of The Year

I couldn't ask for better.

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If love is in the air and it's all over your Instagram feed, that can only mean one thing: Valentine's Day is approaching.

When it comes to Valentine's Day, people typically try to go over the top and demonstrate how much love they have for someone else through giving gifts. Whether that's flowers, chocolates, or going out to dinner, the gifts are meant to show that it's a special day that's all about the person they love.

That's not the case for me.

Valentine's Day is just another day to me. The love I receive from my boyfriend on a daily basis makes me feel like a queen every day, so nothing will really change once February 14th rolls around.

To him, I just want to say two things: thank you, and I love you.

Growing up, I never thought I would know a love as wholesome as yours. I sure as hell never thought I would deserve it, either, but you've shown me my worth and what real love feels like.

I used to not know my worth. I used to only know love as something that turned toxic and controlling. You changed all of that once you came into my life. You have shown me a healthy love that was trusting and unconditional, and I'll love you forever because of that.

I don't need Valentine's Day to know how much you love me. I don't need flowers, chocolates, or anything material to know that you see the rest of your life by my side. I know all of these things because you consistently show me that they're true on a daily basis.

You show me love in everything you do, whether that's holding the door open for me when we go out to eat, asking me how my day was, or making sure that my mental health is okay. You always greet me with a hug and a kiss, and you make me feel like I'm the most important person in the entire world.

You don't need to demonstrate a grand gesture to prove to me that you love me because I've never once doubted your feelings for me. You always tell me how beautiful I am and all of the things you love about me. I'm so thankful to be so head over heels for someone who cares about me with all of their heart.

I could never ask for someone better than you to be my partner in crime. You know me better than I know myself and I love every fiber of who you are. I know that in everything you do, you have me in your mind and your heart. You've shown me what it means to truly love someone, and for that, I'm so grateful.

Thank you for showing me what I deserve, and thank you for making every day feel like the most romantic holiday on the calendar. I love you.

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If You're Grossed Out By PDA, Then Don't Look At Me And My Boyfriend Kissing, Easy As That

Building my relationship and showing my boyfriend how much I love him will always be more important than catering to someone's bitterness.

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Whenever I see two people kiss, I always smile to myself briefly before looking away. That may sound weird, but honestly, there's something really heartwarming about knowing that other people are happy and in love. In a world that all too often seems full of hatred, heartbreak, and suffering, I try to value little moments of love. I've always felt this way, regardless of whether I was moody or happy, single or cuffed, and having a good or bad day. But apparently, other people, as I've recently found out, don't feel the same way.

"Do you two ever brush your teeth?"

"Are you picking bugs off of each other?"

*Other various glares and audibly annoyed sounds*

Talk about a mood killer, right?

I'll never get what possesses people to say stuff like that when there's a simple solution to this problem.

Don't like it? Don't look.

No one is forcing you to watch us be affectionate with each other. You can easily turn around, check the notifications on your phone, or talk to whoever you're with instead.

I've kissed my boyfriend in LOADS of places: restaurants, bus stops, school buildings, carnivals, parks, beaches, cars, apartments, social gatherings, and so on... And I can promise you that even when you act disgusted by what we're doing or make a nasty comment about us, we're not going to stop. So there's really no point in wasting your breath or expending energy on overdramatic facial expressions.

Even if just for a brief moment, try to think about why a couple might be showing affection for each other in public. (News flash: They're not doing it to deliberately make you comfortable.) It's more than likely that these two people are making the most of a moment.

They're happy and in love. There's nothing wrong with that.

On the flip side, why are you making such a big deal out of something that doesn't involve you whatsoever? My guess is that you're either unbearably lonely, jealous because your own relationship isn't suiting your needs, or just generally coldhearted. If any of those scenarios are true, I wouldn't be surprised. You chose to be hateful and rude over being civil and staying out of matters that don't personally involve you.

Regardless of the circumstance, it's a you problem that you need to work out on your own time.

Just like communication and effort, affection is an important part of a relationship. I want my boyfriend to know that regardless of where we are or who is around us, I will never be embarrassed or reluctant to kiss him or touch him. His feelings guide my behavior. He's my #1 priority. Building my relationship and showing my boyfriend how much I love him will always be more important than catering to someone's bitterness.

You can't avoid being around happy couples in public (really, we're everywhere), but you can change your reaction to them. And that's that.

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