I'm The More Distant One In My Asymmetrically Committed Relationship, But I'm Not A Bad Person

My boyfriend and I have been together for seven months.

He talks about marriage and kids while I'm still struggling to say "I love you" and my parents don't know he exists.

Some days can be really tough because of the varying levels of affection, attention, and involvement we can give to each other. For a long time, it felt like there was something wrong with me; that I was avoiding getting deeply involved emotionally as some sort of defense mechanism.

Turns out there's a name for what we are. It's called an "Asymmetrically Committed Relationship" defined as "relationships in which there is a substantial difference in the commitment levels of the partners."

While the "less committed" partner in these sorts of relationships is usually characterized as heartless, more likely to cheat, and generally having a "couldn't care less" attitude towards their partner/relationship, that is not necessarily the case. Emotional distance can be caused by a variety of circumstances: negative past experiences, low self-esteem, mental health problems, introversion, and a number of other factors.

Additionally, the person who's less emotionally invested in the relationship is typically the one that tends to hold more power between the two of them. This can leave the more committed person feeling emotionally drained and taken advantage of in their relationship.

Using differing levels of commitment as an excuse to emotionally manipulate your partner or to do something destructive like cheating on them is unethical and downright malicious.

If you're going to be that sort of person in a relationship, don't enter a relationship, plain and simple.

I'm more hesitant and unsure when it comes to our relationship but that doesn't mean that I'm heartless or that I would ever intentionally hurt my boyfriend. It also means that I understand that sometimes he needs more affection and support than I usually offer. Open communication and patience have been vital in our experience and we are sure to be open to one another's different emotions.

While ideally, both partners would be at about an even level in their relationship, being on different pages isn't necessarily a sign that the relationship is unsustainable or won't last. As long as there is active, honest communication from each person about where they're at emotionally, along with patience and understanding from each side, it is more than possible to have a healthy, mutually respectful relationship in which both partners feel that their needs are being met.

If you and your partner decide to maintain your ACR by modifying your behavior to meet the other's needs or by adjusting your expectations based on what your partner can or will offer, then, by all means, go for it. Any relationship that's worth being in is going to take some sort of work to achieve. It's worked for me and, if you put in the work, it can work for you too. If you find that it's not working, have the courage and integrity to end the relationship, rather than dragging the person along and letting them think you feel differently than you really do.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

12 Things To Know Before Dating A Girl Who Loves Country Singers More Than She Loves You

They’re just as important as you, babe.


If you're about to fall for a girl who falls for country singers, prepare yourself by knowing the following:

1. The playlist 

My playlist will go from Luke Combs to Blake Shelton and you'll have to deal with it. Your playlists are not an option. I will go on and on about how beautiful their voice is, but don't get jealous.

2. Releases

I will set alarms for new releases like Luke Combs "The Prequel" and you HAVE to be as excited as I am. I will be more excited about these releases than I am about anything else in life, but suck it up buttercup.

3. Concerts

I will give up time with you to go see my favorite singers and you’ll just have to understand. You can either join or not, but the plans aren’t changing.

4. Lyrics

You will hear me quote their lyrics more than I’ll say I love you, but just know I still love you.

5. Car rides

Every car ride will include country music, while it will most likely be Luke Combs or Adam Doleac blaring on the radio, you better enjoy every bit of it.

6. I will talk about how beautiful they are.

You’ll hear about their looks often, wether it be Luke Combs eyes or Luke Bryan’s voice, the looks will be brought up. Don’t get jealous, you’re just as handsome.

7. Their voices

Their voices are BEAUTIFUL. While I personally favor Luke Combs, just know I love yours too.

8. Phone backgrounds 

My phone background is most likely some country singer and not a picture of us, but you’re important, I promise.

9. Home Decor 

I will have pictures of Faren Rachels and I up before I have some of us, but realize I have plenty of pictures of us and one with her.

10. Awards

Whenever any awards are on, they’re number one priority compared to your Braves games. You can always watch recaps.

11. Singing 

I will randomly start singing any song by them and probably interrupt any story you're telling, sorry they're on my mind.

12. Dates

I will make sure any release dates for new songs, albums, or concerts are on my calendar; however, I will probably forget our anniversaries.

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11 Things The Man You Love Should Do For You, No Questions Asked

Sometimes it's just the simple things in life that mean a lot.


Every girl feels special when the guy she's dating does simple things for her that not everyone thinks about. Here's a list of 10 things that every girl genuinely appreciates.

1. Open/Hold the door

I feel like this one is really simple because everyone has to walk through doors. Chivalry isn't dead, let him open the door for you. He's not trying to prove that you can't do it for yourself, but he's trying to be polite and show you that he cares for you.

2. Give you really big hugs

Everyone has bad days, and sometimes you just need a really big hug. Whether it be a bear hug or the hug where he picks you up and spins you around, it will make you feel better in the long run.

3. Buy you really small gifts

One of the best things my boyfriend has ever done for me is simply bringing me a Dr. Pepper when he knows I'm tired from a long hard day full of exams or work. Sonic slushes will also make my day in a heartbeat.

4. Text/Call you just to tell you he loves you

This is pretty simple. It takes less than 10 seconds to text, and only a few minutes to call. Sometimes you get these texts right at the perfect moment, and it makes you feel so much better.

5. Come see you when you're sick

Everyone hates being sick. But seeing your friends and family while you're sick can make you feel so much better. Having your boyfriend come to see you and possibly even take care of you just makes being sick that much easier.

6. Respect your decisions

You're not married yet, so your decisions are up to you! He should respect the decisions you make and support you, even if it's not what he thinks is the best decision. After all, you know yourself better than anyone else!

7. Give you a shoulder to cry on

We all have bad days, and sometimes you just can't stop the tears from coming. Even if he's not good with crying, he should give you hugs and love to help you get through it.

8. Compliment you

Even if you look horrible and know so, hopefully, he'll still tell you that you look good. Even if the clothes you're wearing aren't his style, he should still tell you that they look good on you and that you are beautiful each and every day.

9. Call you when you're away or he's away

If you're like me, I miss my boyfriend after being away for about three hours, so when we're apart for more than a couple days, I love getting random calls from him when he knows I'm not busy. It's definitely better than a text.

10. Deal with all your annoying quirks

So if you're anything like me, you enjoy screaming music as loudly and horribly as you can in the car and making a complete fool of yourself, but he should love you for that anyway. I also love to take really stupid pictures, and he should put up with that too. He shouldn't be annoyed by your quirks, he should love them and laugh along with you.

11. Love you no matter what

I honestly feel like this goes without saying, but I put it on here so that the girls who don't feel like they're being loved no matter what can realize. He should want to work out problems with you instead of calling it quits and holding a grudge. He should want you to be happy and support you in every decision you make in life. When he loves you unconditionally, he will do all of the above things and more.

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