I want you first and foremost to know that I will never hate you.
BUT, I will never like you.
I have had to pick up the broken pieces time and time again. I have bought her ice cream and watched romance movies until 3 am because that's the best way I know to handle a breakup. It's funny that she can assure me that she's completely over you when the next week I'm sitting there while she's crying and I feel absolutely helpless. There is nothing I can say or do in that moment that will make it any better.
You should know that whether or not I was around, I still know all the details.
I know how you told her you loved her, and I know how you betrayed her trust. I know how you've tried to get her back and all of the empty promises you've made. It's been months and she is still not okay, regardless of how often she tries to reassure me. I've seen the highs and the lows of how you can make her feel, and trust me when I say that the highs are not worth the lows.
I'm sure that you have some redeeming qualities, I trust her judgment, but I will not let you hurt her again.
You are not worth all of the tears or the late-night phone calls and you are certainly not worth all of the time that has been spent trying to get over you. She's scared to love again and part of that is your fault. She loved you with her whole heart and you decided that wasn't enough for you. She pushes people away because she doesn't want to get hurt again.
You never deserved her, and I realize that now. If you did, you would have realized her uncanny ability to make friends anywhere she goes and how she is one of the kindest people I have ever met. She is intelligent and determined and absolutely beautiful. She will always put others before herself and sometimes that sets her up to get heartbroken. She is special and she deserves the absolute world.
But she is strong.
She is strong enough to realize that she cannot go back to you. You were a different chapter and she is moving on and turning the page. She is finding herself with or without you. She deserves so much more than you ever gave her and one day I will be there when she finds a guy who treats her right.
Best of luck,
The Best Friend