Let's start off with the definition: Noun. (plural first loves) (literally) One's first experience of the feeling of romantic love. (by extension) The first person to be the object of one's romantic affection. (idiomatic, by extension) The thing, place or activity of which one is fondest; one's most fundamental interest or attachment.
Now that we got that out the way let's discuss how we end up with love like this.
Why is it so hard to forget my first love? First love is special because it is the most innocent and pure form of love. No matter how hard you try, you will never stop missing your first love.
My first love swept me off my feet my first year of college. I still remember the day we met. He told me I was going to be his wife, and from that point on, we were as happy as we could ever be (or so I thought.)
Having a first love is when you let go and take a dive into the unknown. It is like the memories of all other 'firsts' in your life, except that this one is stronger.
People in love for the first time will forever remember the hugs, cuddles, holding hands, sweet whispers, car rides, late night conversations and the romantic strolls.
Here are eight reasons why the beautiful memories of this once in a lifetime experience will linger in your heart and mind after your breakup for the rest of your life.
1. Experiencing intimacy for the first time: holding hands, hugs, cuddles and kisses
Ask anyone about the memories of their first kiss, first hug, first cuddle and the first time they had sex. Their faces will glow because it is simply priceless from the liberating memory. This happens because experiencing intimacy for the first time gets stuck in the memory forever.
Physical intimacy is usually experienced with first crushes and first loves. This is the time when a simple act of holding hands makes you sweat, and a romantic hug gives you goosebumps all over your body.
My first kiss, hug and touch from my first love is still a near memory, though we aren’t together anymore. The sound of his voice could send chills down my back with just a simple thought.
2. First loves are special because it’s the purest love.
One of the core reasons why a first love is hard to forget is because of its pureness and innocence. People don't fall in love for the first time with expectations or malicious intentions. It is a pure attraction, led by the mind and not the heart. People often wonder which one should they listen to--heart or mind.
The whole world seems beautiful and life becomes perfect. It is like wearing diamonds 24/7, even in your dreams.
I felt as if the world was moving at a fast pace, but I was in a safe, slow, steady environment, wrapped in his love and affection feeling like no worries, destruction or pain could ever reach me because he’d always be with me, letting nothing harm me or us.
This euphoric feeling of first love can never be replicated because once innocence is lost on a personal level, it can never be felt in its purest form in another relationship. This is what makes it so special.
3. First love is powerful because it exposes your flaws.
Your first love and first relationship will expose many of your insecurities, which you never knew about. Your first relationship usually is the first time when you realize what it is like to be jealous.
From jealousy to possessiveness to extreme dependence, first love is when people realize how matters of the heart can weaken the strongest person. The memory of understanding your own insecurities will never go away.
I remember the first time I felt jealousy in my relationship with him. The emotions coming from me were unexplainable and uncontrollable. I loved him and wanted no other female to get near him, though he had female friends before meeting me. (We all know how that goes.)
4. Thinking that first love is forever: Making your partner a part of all your hopes and dreams
People fall in love for the first time without any assumptions because they have never experienced love before. Puppy love will make you believe that love will last forever.
This sense of lasting love makes you attach all your hopes and dreams to your first love relationship. It's like looking through binoculars and focusing all your life's attention and goals to just one thing — your first love.
I added my first love into every plan I had, from grocery store trips to graduating from college. Being in love for the first time had me thinking my life was not only mine but OURS.
The sense of attachment is hard to break away from. Even after a bitter breakup, you will find it impossible to see yourself living your life without your first love.
5. First love = perfect love
When you’re in love for the first time, you believe that your love is perfect. Your love knows only one language, the one spoken by your heart. There are no wrongs, no complications and no expectations when first love is blossoming.
This sense of perfection creates memories that are hard to forget. No matter how old you get, no matter how mature you become, you will always crave this perfect love in your relationships.
The first few weeks of our relationship was perfect as ever (from my point of view at least). He could do no wrong in my eyes. I thought of him as a perfect little angel that God placed in my life to rescue me from loneliness.
6. Emotional imbalance.
The sheer bliss of feeling love for the first time will engrave all the sweet memories in your mind forever. However, it is also extremely emotionally intense. The downer after every little fight and argument is exhausting.
This intense range of emotional highs and lows makes this a once in a lifetime roller coaster ride — never to be repeated.
I was extremely passionate when we had arguments because I wanted him to understand how truly I loved him. My anger came from the fact that we were actually arguing rather than the argument itself. I didn't like arguing with him; seeing him angry only made me angrier.
7. Carefree love
Having your first love usually happens at a young age. My first love came into my life at the age of 19. This is the time when there are no spiraling, mortgage payments, job insecurities and many other things that make daily life a melting pot waiting to burst open.
I had no other responsibilities except to do well in class. This gave me all the time in the world to immerse myself in love.
Most of my classes were on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays so on Tuesdays and Thursdays and weekends I’d spend a majority of the day with him. There was no question of how I’d find the time, but I believe if you really care about something or someone that you’ll make time.
Basically, your first love was your full-time job.
As you grow older, your life is burdened with many new responsibilities, year after year. You may never get to experience the absolute and carefree experience of falling in love and enjoying each and every moment of it without having other responsibilities lingering over your head.
This is why the memories of your first love will remain in your mind for the rest of your life — because you will never have such a carefree state of mind in your life again.
8. Heartbreak is an undefined understatement
Just like how the euphoria of falling in love is intense, so is the heartbreak. This is the first time you will experience what it feels to have your heart broken.
The shattering breakup is magnified into an emotionally terrorizing fireball, which is a mix of many elements, including the agonizing feeling of having broken trust, the painful sense of regret, the haunting feeling of baring your insecurities to someone for the first time in life and the false hope.
The happiness from the relationship weakens your sense of judgment and makes it hard to draw boundaries. This makes you do stupid things, including committing too early, putting your hopes into one person, getting intimate even if you are not sure you’re ready.
The breakup between my first love and I was devastating, and that’s an understatement. I thought we could get through anything. I loved his family and him so much; I just knew one day we’d end up married.
Some may say I’m still not over him. I’m not sure who broke up with who, but he cheated on me among other things.
You begin to feel a burden of regret when things begin to fall apart.
Why did I have sex with such a douchebag?
Why did I trust them with all my heart?
Why didn't I see that she/he was cheating on me?
The elements of heart wrenching regret that ensues after the breakup of first love.