I'm The College Girl Who Found Her Future Fiancé, But For Now, I'm Happy He's Still Just My Boyfriend

I'm The College Girl Who Found Her Future Fiancé, But For Now, I'm Happy He's Still Just My Boyfriend

Just because I know that I want to spend my life with him doesn't mean that I am ready to take our relationship to the next level.

1033
views

Being a typical girl, I often fantasize about my future wedding, husband, children, and life. I catch myself daydreaming about the reception, looking at engagement rings and dresses and thinking of my big day. I daydream about it more often lately, maybe because I always have my boyfriend by my side.

I've been with him for almost two and a half years, so we often get asked when we will be taking our relationship to the next level. We've talked about it, and we both know that we want to spend our lives together, but that doesn't necessarily mean we are ready for the next step. Getting engaged is a big deal, and we want to do it on our own terms.

I love him, he loves me, we want to grow old together, blah blah blah. We know we want to commit, that is not an issue. He respects me and understands why I am not in a hurry. I respect him and want to fulfill his wishes of moving forward. But in order to do that, there are some things that I need to do first.

In today's society and growing up in the South, you see a lot of girls starting their families young. There is no problem with that and I respect it completely. However, that is not what I want right now.

I want to get my degree before marrying a man. I've told my boyfriend from day one that I wanted to get married AFTER I received my first degree. Why? Just a preference. I want my last name on that diploma before taking his.

I want to travel by myself. The world is so vast and while I do want to explore it with him, I want my own travels as well. He has had his, and I want mine. Even if it is one solo adventure, I want to say that I did so. My aunt told me once that I need to go on my own "big girl" trip before I settle down.

I want to figure out who I am. He has always been so supportive of me and my goals. Not only have we grown because of our relationship, but I've grown so much as a person just because of life. He has allowed me to grow, giving me space and support I need, but there is some monumental flourishing that I need to do before I am "wife-ready."

My dad always told me, "In order to fully love someone, you must first love yourself."

I feel that I need to commit to myself before I commit to him.

I want to figure out what I want. Life constantly throws us curveballs. You can not plan everything, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow. Nonetheless, it is important for me to create goals, discover my interests, and determine my career. He has always known that I have my own personal goals, and that is something that he loves about me. Therefore, I want to curtail these goals into a foreseeable future.

I want to lose my independence. Yes, you read that right. I am very independent, I don't like asking for help, and I like having my independence. But I know that in order to make a marriage work, you must work hard and compromise. A marriage is between two people becoming one family. In order to make that work, I need to be willing to accommodate not only my wants and needs but his as well. I will still be independent and stubborn as hell, but I will be more focused on our goals and our needs over my own.

Last but not least, I want to be mentally prepared. Marriage is hard work. While there is a lot of love and happiness and other great aspects, there are also a lot of challenges. There is a lot of forgiveness, sadness, hard times, and work. It is not easy at all, but it is worth it with the right person. I know that I want all of this with him, but I don't want to let him or myself down. There is a lot that I need to do in order to be mentally ready to put him and our family first, and I don't want him to ever receive the short end of the stick.

Now, with all of this said, I know that he is the one. There aren't words to describe how I feel about him and how right our relationship is, but I know that it is. I want to marry him and spend my life with him, no doubt about it. But I want to give him the best version of myself when we do. That is the least that he deserves. And I know and am actively working on bettering myself, not just for him, but for myself as well. Bringing my best version to the table will not only serve him but service myself. It is out of respect and my love for him that I want to wait to say "I do."

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

If You Loved The Wrong Person That Much, Imagine How Much You Could Love The Right Person

You fell in love with the wrong person, sweetie. But, it isn't the end of your love story — this is only the beginning.

mrene38
mrene38
608
views

Love.

We all crave, wish, hope, and pray for it.

If you're like me, you've been planning your wedding from a young age. I've always imagined what it would be like when my "Prince Charming" finally waltzed his way into my life. Eventually, he did, or at least I thought he did.

I fell in love with whom I believed was my "Prince Charming," Ross to my Rachel, Augustus Waters to my Hazel Grace, Jim to my Pam. You name it, I believed it. I truly saw myself spending the rest of my life with this man. I loved him with every piece of me. I trusted him with my heart, but he broke all of that. I truly believed he put the stars in the sky.

Sadly, I was wrong. So. Wrong.

I, of course, would have done anything for this man. I was head over heels in love and just wanted to make him happy. I loved him so much. However, after he broke the trust that we had built and decided that he no longer loved me, that all vanished. I was left questioning what I did wrong? What did I do to deserve this? All I did was give you love and shower you with it. I did everything for you.

Then, the answer hit me. I didn't do anything wrong. In fact, I did everything right.

See, the thing is, when you are loving the person who you think you are supposed to be with at the end of the day, all you are doing is wasting your time. The person that you are meant to be with will look past your flaws and fall in love with them. You won't have to ask the person that you are supposed to be with for him/her to spend time with you, to prioritize you, to act like they truly want to be in your life. You won't have to ask the person that you are supposed to be with to love you, because they will do it unconditionally, just like how you did with the wrong person.

When you love the wrong person wholeheartedly, you never seem to win. You are always doing something wrong in the end. It's always your fault, isn't it? No matter how hard you try, how many kisses you shower them with, how much time you devote to them out of your schedule, it's still not enough. But why can't you win when you sacrifice so much for this one person? Aren't you supposed to be in love? Yes, YOU love them with your entire heart, but why can't you receive the same love and respect back?

Because you are not meant to be.

Those that you are not meant to be with will never see your worth. They will never appreciate you for the amazing, independent, strong, beautiful, and courageous person that you are. However, the person that you are meant to love wholeheartedly will, and they will do whatever it takes to show you your worth. They will love you for you and never make you question why you always seem to love more than your significant other does.

So, trust me, sweetheart, when I say you're meant to be will find their way to you. Maybe they already have and you don't even know it. Just have patience and love yourself, because when you fall in love with yourself, you will have so much more love to give to the right person.

Your right person is out there. We all have and deserve a Ross to our Rachel, an Augustus Waters to our Hazel Grace, a Jim to our Pam. So, straighten your head and hold it up high because your crown is tilting.

mrene38
mrene38

OMG, check these out

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Subtle Ways You May Be Disrespecting Your Friend's Relationship

If they make your friend happy, you shouldn't be doing these things.

1078
views

No ones significant other wants to tell them they don't like their friends. And trying to tell anyone not to hang out with the people they're closest too is a disaster waiting to happen.

Some people really just don't like their friend's partner, but others have no idea the damage they may be doing to the relationship. If you are more aware of some things to avoid, hopefully, you, your friend, and their partner can all get along in peace.

1. When you see your friend, make sure to acknowledge their partner.

To be honest, this is a basic courtesy. If you go to say hi to anyone in a group of people, it is polite to greet, or at least acknowledge, everyone there. If you completely ignore that your friend's partner is even there, it will make them feel awkward and neglected. Just say hi.

2. Don't be overly touchy-feely with your friend, especially around their partner.

Obviously, this mostly applies to friends of the opposite sex (for heterosexual couples). Look, there is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex but just know your boundaries. You may think your friend's partner is being jealous for no reason, but are you doing anything that might make them uncomfortable?

You don't need to always have your arm around them or be leaned up against them. It is really inappropriate to kiss them on the cheek or give them super long hugs, even if that is something you did before they had a partner, and even if it is completely platonic.

You can still hug and be close to your friend, just be respectful of their boundaries. If you don't give their partner any reason to be jealous then they will have no basis to dislike you.

3. If you invite your friend somewhere, it is polite to also invite their partner.

Even if you assume your friend's partner is going to come, it is nice to make them feel welcomed. And if you don't want their partner to come, make sure they are not together or planning to be together when you invite your friend.

You don't have to always have their partner around, but don't make it a habit of not inviting them. If they don't feel welcomed around their partner's friends, then they probably won't feel as confident in their relationship.

4. Don't ever bring up your friend's past relationships, especially around their partner.

Even if they are on good terms. Even if you are still friends with their ex. Just don't bring them up. No one wants to hear about their partner's past relationships or flings. It is embarrassing and uncomfortable to have to hear about your partner's exes.

5. If you are all out together, don't try to separate your friend from their partner.

There is a good chance that if you are out with your friend and their partner, their partner does not know many people there. If that is the case, don't try to separate your friend from their partner.

There may be an exception if their partner has friends around too, or if they are outgoing and can talk to anybody easily, but otherwise, it is really awkward to be in that situation alone. They are with their partner for a reason, and it is nice to make their partner feel included as well.

Just don't make it a habit to always pull your friend away.

6. Don't put your friend in any awkward or risky situations.

If your friend is a cheater, that is not really any fault of yours. But don't be the friend who is known for putting your partnered friend in risky situations.

There is nothing wrong with going out occasionally with your friends, but it does not need to be a regular occurrence, especially if it makes their partner uncomfortable.

Along the same lines, if you know an ex-partner or fling will be there, you don't need to put your friend in that awkward situation. Just be aware of the situation and how it might make their partner feel.

To wrap up, you don't need to completely change your relationship with your friend just to make their partner happy; just make sure to be polite and respectful of their partner and their relationship.

These are some subtle things you may be doing that are hurting your friend's relationship that you don't even realize have negative consequences. Simply be more aware of some of these situations and how they could potentially make your friend's partner feel. After all, the best relationships are the ones where your partner's friends also become your friends.

OMG, check these out

Facebook Comments