To The Single 21-Year-Old Whose Friends Are ALL Getting Engaged

To The Single 21-Year-Old Whose Friends Are ALL Getting Engaged

"Am I really old enough to have friends that are getting engaged?"

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Yes. You really ARE old enough to have friends that are getting engaged. And isn't that just wild? Wasn't it just yesterday where you and your gal pals sat around your basement computer and played club penguin together?

This is that time of life where people are getting into committed relationships, and those people may be some of your friends, or they might be just other people around you. Either way, you notice it. You notice it more than you thought you ever would because of your own relationship status: In love with pizza.

Just kidding, being single is WAY more than being a pizza fanatic. But let's be real. When you scroll through your social media account and see about 10 different posts of people YOUR age getting engaged and you are single as a Pringle, it's very hard to not sulk in feelings of loneliness. I know, I've been there.

So, ladies, these are my words of hope to you. I hope you read these words and feel encouraged to be who you were called to be, not who Instagram tries to make you be.

Do not settle for a guy that you know won't pursue you the way you know you need to be treated just so you can feel on track with everyone else.

Everyone meets their person in different seasons of life and in different ways. In this season of singleness, take time to invest in friendships, things that you are passionate about, and preparing your heart for the one who WILL love you through everything- not just through "engagement season". During the moments where you feel down about not having a significant other, remember this. Your single years were not meant to be used to sit and wait to not be single anymore. You were meant for SO much more, and I believe you can do so much more!

Live your life not waiting for prince charming. Live your life so courageously and intentionally, so when prince charming does come, he comes during a time of your life where you are ready. And while deep inside the green-eyed monster sometimes seeps out, find that place in you that encourages others and tell your friends how happy you are that they found their person. Cheer them on and be the friend that builds them up. When you build up others, your own circumstances seem to get smaller and smaller. And lastly, don't feel bad that you are 21 and you are not dating. As much as the college scene makes this necessary, it's not. It is not what defines you and it is not what is going to set you apart from others. What's going to set you apart is the way you devote your time into your passions and the way you fiercely love your friends and family.

Don't let your single years pass by without doing something that makes your soul flare up with passion. Your person will come at the right season of life. Until then, keep building each other up. Take a break of Instagram if you need to. Sometimes clearing your head of social media can remind you of what truly matters most in life.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I Am A Hopeless Romantic Living In A World Where One-Night Stands Are The Norm

It's the little things.

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In today's society, it can certainly start to feel like no one takes love seriously anymore.

Whether it's that one couple who has broken up and gotten back together more times than you can count, the two friends-with-benefits no one can figure out, your local womanizer, or just hookups in general, love and lust are a huge part of specifically college life and culture.

As a hopeless romantic, being part of a generation that "just wants to have fun" can be really frustrating, especially when you just want to find something real. It is so easy for people to put on a fake act just to get what they want and sometimes this can be extremely hard to see through. I'm sure we've all had some kind of incident with someone who played nice but had ulterior motives and the sad truth is that it can be impossible to recognize a person's artificiality.

I am a hopeless romantic.

I have always classified myself as such, and it has remained true. Sure, I can make the most of the freedoms I have as a single college woman, but deep down I just want to find my person.

I've had my fair share of letdowns, and I think we all have, but being a hopeless romantic makes it that much more difficult to get past the "what ifs" and fantasies that come along with starting something with someone new. We may already have our hearts set on a person when they decide they've gotten what they wanted and leave.

For me, I find myself caught up in the little things that someone does. I have always been someone who picks up on small details in situations, and sometimes this works against me.

I pick up on the small facial expressions that he may not even realize he is making; the ones that tell you when their guard has been let down, even just for a split second.

I pick up on the way he sits our two cellphones side by side on the nightstand, taking care to line them up perfectly as if that's just their spot.

I pick up on the short moments of laughter where he actually lets himself laugh and forgets about the act.

I pick up on things, and sometimes I end up hurting because of it.

When it comes down to it, though, I wouldn't change the way that I am. I wouldn't change the fact that I find myself in the search for more in a society that mostly only offers me less.

The trait that tends to hurt me most is also the one that I value most. Even if noticing all the little things is something that contributes to my own heartache, I love those moments. There is something beautiful about those tiny things shared by two people, even if the connection ends there.

Sure, it can be hard. But so can everything.

It's just a matter of finding the beauty.

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Dedicate Your Summer To Bettering Yourself For Yourself, Not Your Ex

Why waste energy on an ex who doesn't care about you anymore?

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I'm single for the summer (yet again, no shock there) but this summer there's something in the air that just feels different. It's the feeling of true acceptance of my single status.

Last summer I was single when I really didn't want to be. My heart with still holding out for a guy who wasn't interested in anything more than my friendship. It took me from late March all the way until Halloween to get over those feelings. However, while working through those tough feelings that summer, I came to enjoy my time on my own and not talking to anyone except my best friends. I didn't have to worry about when I'd get a text back, or if I'd be left on read, or who he'd be out with since I wasn't around. The only thing I needed to worry about was my paychecks and tan lines.

Sometimes after breaking things off with someone who you put so much effort into, whether it was a boyfriend, an almost relationship, or even a friend with benefits, it's easy to want to show off on social media and make them regret ever hurting you or ending things. Why? It's a nice little ego boost, sure, but after those few seconds of glee from the fact that you know they've seen and maybe even liked your picture or your tweet, or saw your story on Snapchat, do you still feel happy? No, you go right back to feeling like crap, whether you want to admit it or not. Stop making yourself all about them when that ship has sailed and start being all about you.

Your ex is off doing their own thing, maybe thinking about you, but obviously not enough to want you back in their life the way you used to be. They are probably out there finding a new person to take your spot because they don't have you at their beck and call anymore. If they're also showing off to show you how much better they are without you or to make you jealous...why are you still following them or still participating in this sick little game for attention? Grow up and block them so you don't have to keep seeing their posts, or be adult enough to stop if you're doing the same as well. If it's only you posting, chances are you just look stupid, so stop before you really embarrass yourself. I was that person, and I know first hand how embarrassed I am for acting the way I did.

Summer is synonymous for doing whatever the hell you want. Wear what you want, say what you want, and be the best version of yourself that only a high dose of Vitamin D can bring out. Your ex is an ex for many reasons. You have to set aside the summer for you and what benefits you only. Don't concern yourself with an ex who doesn't care in the least about you anymore. Coming from someone who posted thirst traps aimed at a specific person along with countless shady AF stories on Snap and Insta in the hopes that this one person and their friends would see it, just stop and save yourself the energy as well as regret.

We're all adults, it's time to stop the petty posts and photos. Post your thirst trap for yourself because you're a sexy queen who doesn't need anyone but herself. Once you start focusing on yourself this summer, instead of your ex, you'll realize just have great it feels to truly be free.

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