Leave Your S.O.'s Past Relationships In the Past, That Means The Prom
Start writing a post
Swoon

Leave Your S.O.'s Past Relationships In the Past, That Means The Prom

Focus on the present, not on what came before you.

4351
Leave Your S.O.'s Past Relationships In the Past, That Means The Prom
@promgirlxoxo

I have a serious issue with people who are insistent on dragging up their significant other's past relationships in the middle of their own. Clearly, these relationships did not work out. Yours is going fairly strong and yet you are still peeved at the mere thought that your sweetheart once looked at someone else the way they look at you.

To me, this suggests that you have a problem with jealousy. As if you had never had other lovers before as if you had not taken someone else to prom. As if you had never had a crush on anyone else ever before. I mean, by this same standard, you shouldn't be allowed to have a celebrity crush, either, right? Which is just downright silly.

You are the one who's by their side now, so why should it matter who they were with in the past?

Unless your current partner has a history of infidelity, abuse, and/or violence (which you should always know about BEFORE dating them), there is no reason why you should be so concerned with who they loved or even just messed around with before you came along.

This is especially important if you didn't know your partner even existed when they were engaging in these relationships. You don't get to stick yourself in the middle of ancient history that doesn't belong to you. It isn't your business to meddle in someone's past personal choices and decisions. So you met your beau in college and found out that they—unsurprisingly— went to their senior prom with someone else. So what? Didn't you?

You have every right to be a little bit bitter about having missed out on some milestones you both could've shared. But to get so bent-out-of-shape in regards to not having been their date to your high school prom is rather extreme.

You're causing emotional harm that simply isn't worth it to you or your partner.

Yes, maybe your high school experience would have been exponentially better if you had gone through it all with your current boyfriend or girlfriend. But that wasn't your destiny, and you can't change what's already happened to fit the bill of what you would have preferred. Life isn't always ideal; we meet people at different ages and in different places and we can't help what's already been said and done.

You don't have the right to hate someone just because they got there before you did. You can hate what they DID to make your significant other feel less-than-happy, but you don't get to hate someone they used to date just because they broke up. Just like they weren't right for your sweetheart, your sweetheart wasn't right for them, either. This all can be boiled down to how our society demonizes people who initiate breakups— and a lot of the time, their separations from their lovers don't warrant hatred.

Don't get me wrong, there genuinely are some mean-spirited people out there who can be labeled as such because they manipulate, deceive, or overall disrespect others. Maybe one of your S.O.'s past loves was this kind of person - it sucks, but your S.O. got through it or is in the process of getting through it, and you need to focus less on yourself and more on helping them through their feelings.

Concentrate on the happiness that you two have, not on the happiness you could have had at a time before you had the opportunity to connect.

Report this Content
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

86299
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

52229
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments