I Told My Now Boyfriend About My Baggage On The First Date, And It Only Helped Lead To The Second

I Told My Now Boyfriend About My Baggage On The First Date, And It Only Helped Lead To The Second

People can say they can leave it in the past, but it's still your life.

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In my five year experience with *real* dating—sorry freshman year relationships that lasted a few months—is that, you really need to be open with your partner.

About everything.

I have some "baggage" as people like to call it that, while I have grown from the situations and am over them, I still carry them with me because they are apart of my life. I don't let them eat away at me day by day. But I will have my days where I'm going to be struck with emotions. When those days come, I always want my partner to be prepared.

So I told my now boyfriend, every little piece of my "baggage" on our first date.

Yes, all the bad stuff that most people probably don't want to talk about? I did on the first date.

I learned that if someone seriously wants to be with me, and for the long run, they should know my past. So I gave it to him on a silver platter. I looked him in the eyes and said I want to talk to you about something serious. After agreeing, I advised him that I had never taken this approach before, that I knew it was really early to bring all of this up, but that I felt it was necessary for him to know before we take the relationship further.

While most people who I've shared these experiences with, it was later in our relationship, their reactions were generally the same. Awkward, didn't know what to say or how to act. It mostly led to a few awkward encounters after that, but nothing further.

This time was different.

He held me after I was done saying every detail and told me "I knew you were strong, but I didn't know you were this strong." No words have hit me like those did. He looked me in my tear stained eyes and said that he was so glad I felt comfortable enough to share that with him so soon. That, he's glad he knows those pieces of me because they are what shaped me into who I am today.

Is my "baggage" rough? Absolutely. Are there days where the memories flood over me and I can't help but let the tears fall? Of course. I'm a human and not every day is going to be perfect. But, sharing that with him, warning him in a way, gave him the opportunity to know how to handle it when those days did come.

So, my "baggage" actually landed me the second date. And not only the second date, but almost a year's worth of dates.

If you want to find that one person, the one you want to share your life with, you need to share the past too. If you share it with them and they can't handle it? That's their loss and your gain. You're onto the next potential candidate. One that will love you for all of you, just like mine does for me.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

12 Things To Know Before Dating A Girl Who Loves Country Singers More Than She Loves You

They’re just as important as you, babe.

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If you're about to fall for a girl who falls for country singers, prepare yourself by knowing the following:

1. The playlist 

My playlist will go from Luke Combs to Blake Shelton and you'll have to deal with it. Your playlists are not an option. I will go on and on about how beautiful their voice is, but don't get jealous.

2. Releases

I will set alarms for new releases like Luke Combs "The Prequel" and you HAVE to be as excited as I am. I will be more excited about these releases than I am about anything else in life, but suck it up buttercup.

3. Concerts

I will give up time with you to go see my favorite singers and you’ll just have to understand. You can either join or not, but the plans aren’t changing.

4. Lyrics

You will hear me quote their lyrics more than I’ll say I love you, but just know I still love you.

5. Car rides

Every car ride will include country music, while it will most likely be Luke Combs or Adam Doleac blaring on the radio, you better enjoy every bit of it.

6. I will talk about how beautiful they are.

You’ll hear about their looks often, wether it be Luke Combs eyes or Luke Bryan’s voice, the looks will be brought up. Don’t get jealous, you’re just as handsome.

7. Their voices

Their voices are BEAUTIFUL. While I personally favor Luke Combs, just know I love yours too.

8. Phone backgrounds 

My phone background is most likely some country singer and not a picture of us, but you’re important, I promise.

9. Home Decor 

I will have pictures of Faren Rachels and I up before I have some of us, but realize I have plenty of pictures of us and one with her.

10. Awards

Whenever any awards are on, they’re number one priority compared to your Braves games. You can always watch recaps.

11. Singing 

I will randomly start singing any song by them and probably interrupt any story you're telling, sorry they're on my mind.

12. Dates

I will make sure any release dates for new songs, albums, or concerts are on my calendar; however, I will probably forget our anniversaries.

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11 Things The Man You Love Should Do For You, No Questions Asked

Sometimes it's just the simple things in life that mean a lot.

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Every girl feels special when the guy she's dating does simple things for her that not everyone thinks about. Here's a list of 10 things that every girl genuinely appreciates.

1. Open/Hold the door

I feel like this one is really simple because everyone has to walk through doors. Chivalry isn't dead, let him open the door for you. He's not trying to prove that you can't do it for yourself, but he's trying to be polite and show you that he cares for you.

2. Give you really big hugs

Everyone has bad days, and sometimes you just need a really big hug. Whether it be a bear hug or the hug where he picks you up and spins you around, it will make you feel better in the long run.

3. Buy you really small gifts

One of the best things my boyfriend has ever done for me is simply bringing me a Dr. Pepper when he knows I'm tired from a long hard day full of exams or work. Sonic slushes will also make my day in a heartbeat.

4. Text/Call you just to tell you he loves you

This is pretty simple. It takes less than 10 seconds to text, and only a few minutes to call. Sometimes you get these texts right at the perfect moment, and it makes you feel so much better.

5. Come see you when you're sick

Everyone hates being sick. But seeing your friends and family while you're sick can make you feel so much better. Having your boyfriend come to see you and possibly even take care of you just makes being sick that much easier.

6. Respect your decisions

You're not married yet, so your decisions are up to you! He should respect the decisions you make and support you, even if it's not what he thinks is the best decision. After all, you know yourself better than anyone else!

7. Give you a shoulder to cry on

We all have bad days, and sometimes you just can't stop the tears from coming. Even if he's not good with crying, he should give you hugs and love to help you get through it.

8. Compliment you

Even if you look horrible and know so, hopefully, he'll still tell you that you look good. Even if the clothes you're wearing aren't his style, he should still tell you that they look good on you and that you are beautiful each and every day.

9. Call you when you're away or he's away

If you're like me, I miss my boyfriend after being away for about three hours, so when we're apart for more than a couple days, I love getting random calls from him when he knows I'm not busy. It's definitely better than a text.

10. Deal with all your annoying quirks

So if you're anything like me, you enjoy screaming music as loudly and horribly as you can in the car and making a complete fool of yourself, but he should love you for that anyway. I also love to take really stupid pictures, and he should put up with that too. He shouldn't be annoyed by your quirks, he should love them and laugh along with you.

11. Love you no matter what

I honestly feel like this goes without saying, but I put it on here so that the girls who don't feel like they're being loved no matter what can realize. He should want to work out problems with you instead of calling it quits and holding a grudge. He should want you to be happy and support you in every decision you make in life. When he loves you unconditionally, he will do all of the above things and more.

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