I Told My Now Boyfriend About My Baggage On The First Date, And It Only Helped Lead To The Second

I Told My Now Boyfriend About My Baggage On The First Date, And It Only Helped Lead To The Second

People can say they can leave it in the past, but it's still your life.

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In my five year experience with *real* dating—sorry freshman year relationships that lasted a few months—is that, you really need to be open with your partner.

About everything.

I have some "baggage" as people like to call it that, while I have grown from the situations and am over them, I still carry them with me because they are apart of my life. I don't let them eat away at me day by day. But I will have my days where I'm going to be struck with emotions. When those days come, I always want my partner to be prepared.

So I told my now boyfriend, every little piece of my "baggage" on our first date.

Yes, all the bad stuff that most people probably don't want to talk about? I did on the first date.

I learned that if someone seriously wants to be with me, and for the long run, they should know my past. So I gave it to him on a silver platter. I looked him in the eyes and said I want to talk to you about something serious. After agreeing, I advised him that I had never taken this approach before, that I knew it was really early to bring all of this up, but that I felt it was necessary for him to know before we take the relationship further.

While most people who I've shared these experiences with, it was later in our relationship, their reactions were generally the same. Awkward, didn't know what to say or how to act. It mostly led to a few awkward encounters after that, but nothing further.

This time was different.

He held me after I was done saying every detail and told me "I knew you were strong, but I didn't know you were this strong." No words have hit me like those did. He looked me in my tear stained eyes and said that he was so glad I felt comfortable enough to share that with him so soon. That, he's glad he knows those pieces of me because they are what shaped me into who I am today.

Is my "baggage" rough? Absolutely. Are there days where the memories flood over me and I can't help but let the tears fall? Of course. I'm a human and not every day is going to be perfect. But, sharing that with him, warning him in a way, gave him the opportunity to know how to handle it when those days did come.

So, my "baggage" actually landed me the second date. And not only the second date, but almost a year's worth of dates.

If you want to find that one person, the one you want to share your life with, you need to share the past too. If you share it with them and they can't handle it? That's their loss and your gain. You're onto the next potential candidate. One that will love you for all of you, just like mine does for me.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

To The Boyfriend Who Makes It Feel Like Valentine's Day Every Single Day Of The Year

I couldn't ask for better.

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If love is in the air and it's all over your Instagram feed, that can only mean one thing: Valentine's Day is approaching.

When it comes to Valentine's Day, people typically try to go over the top and demonstrate how much love they have for someone else through giving gifts. Whether that's flowers, chocolates, or going out to dinner, the gifts are meant to show that it's a special day that's all about the person they love.

That's not the case for me.

Valentine's Day is just another day to me. The love I receive from my boyfriend on a daily basis makes me feel like a queen every day, so nothing will really change once February 14th rolls around.

To him, I just want to say two things: thank you, and I love you.

Growing up, I never thought I would know a love as wholesome as yours. I sure as hell never thought I would deserve it, either, but you've shown me my worth and what real love feels like.

I used to not know my worth. I used to only know love as something that turned toxic and controlling. You changed all of that once you came into my life. You have shown me a healthy love that was trusting and unconditional, and I'll love you forever because of that.

I don't need Valentine's Day to know how much you love me. I don't need flowers, chocolates, or anything material to know that you see the rest of your life by my side. I know all of these things because you consistently show me that they're true on a daily basis.

You show me love in everything you do, whether that's holding the door open for me when we go out to eat, asking me how my day was, or making sure that my mental health is okay. You always greet me with a hug and a kiss, and you make me feel like I'm the most important person in the entire world.

You don't need to demonstrate a grand gesture to prove to me that you love me because I've never once doubted your feelings for me. You always tell me how beautiful I am and all of the things you love about me. I'm so thankful to be so head over heels for someone who cares about me with all of their heart.

I could never ask for someone better than you to be my partner in crime. You know me better than I know myself and I love every fiber of who you are. I know that in everything you do, you have me in your mind and your heart. You've shown me what it means to truly love someone, and for that, I'm so grateful.

Thank you for showing me what I deserve, and thank you for making every day feel like the most romantic holiday on the calendar. I love you.

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If You're Grossed Out By PDA, Then Don't Look At Me And My Boyfriend Kissing, Easy As That

Building my relationship and showing my boyfriend how much I love him will always be more important than catering to someone's bitterness.

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Whenever I see two people kiss, I always smile to myself briefly before looking away. That may sound weird, but honestly, there's something really heartwarming about knowing that other people are happy and in love. In a world that all too often seems full of hatred, heartbreak, and suffering, I try to value little moments of love. I've always felt this way, regardless of whether I was moody or happy, single or cuffed, and having a good or bad day. But apparently, other people, as I've recently found out, don't feel the same way.

"Do you two ever brush your teeth?"

"Are you picking bugs off of each other?"

*Other various glares and audibly annoyed sounds*

Talk about a mood killer, right?

I'll never get what possesses people to say stuff like that when there's a simple solution to this problem.

Don't like it? Don't look.

No one is forcing you to watch us be affectionate with each other. You can easily turn around, check the notifications on your phone, or talk to whoever you're with instead.

I've kissed my boyfriend in LOADS of places: restaurants, bus stops, school buildings, carnivals, parks, beaches, cars, apartments, social gatherings, and so on... And I can promise you that even when you act disgusted by what we're doing or make a nasty comment about us, we're not going to stop. So there's really no point in wasting your breath or expending energy on overdramatic facial expressions.

Even if just for a brief moment, try to think about why a couple might be showing affection for each other in public. (News flash: They're not doing it to deliberately make you comfortable.) It's more than likely that these two people are making the most of a moment.

They're happy and in love. There's nothing wrong with that.

On the flip side, why are you making such a big deal out of something that doesn't involve you whatsoever? My guess is that you're either unbearably lonely, jealous because your own relationship isn't suiting your needs, or just generally coldhearted. If any of those scenarios are true, I wouldn't be surprised. You chose to be hateful and rude over being civil and staying out of matters that don't personally involve you.

Regardless of the circumstance, it's a you problem that you need to work out on your own time.

Just like communication and effort, affection is an important part of a relationship. I want my boyfriend to know that regardless of where we are or who is around us, I will never be embarrassed or reluctant to kiss him or touch him. His feelings guide my behavior. He's my #1 priority. Building my relationship and showing my boyfriend how much I love him will always be more important than catering to someone's bitterness.

You can't avoid being around happy couples in public (really, we're everywhere), but you can change your reaction to them. And that's that.

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