The first time that I ever laid eyes on you, my whole world changed. You were beautiful, and I knew that I had to know you.
From then on, thoughts of you filled my mind. I was completely consumed in wanting to be yours. When you smiled at me, my knees would go weak. When you spoke, your voice was all I could hear. I wanted you so bad it hurt.
The more we got to know each other, the more we saw each other. And the more we saw each other, the deeper my feelings became.
The problem was, you didn't feel the same way.
You liked to toy with me. You knew how I felt, and you used it to your advantage. You knew that all you had to do was give me that look, and I was putty in your hands. You knew that if the girl you actually wanted didn't work out, then you had a back up to go to.
People told me to let you go. People told me that you were never going to want me and that I needed to accept it. They said that I was too good for you and that I would find someone who would really appreciate me.
But I didn't listen.
I didn't want to believe them.
I was so naive. I only saw the best in you, and I refused to see what you were really doing to me.
You were constantly giving me just enough to keep me holding on, but never more. And I let you do that to me. I let you treat me that way. I was so wrapped up in being in love with you that I accepted a little bit of you over none of you at all.
I was so sad for so long. I couldn't believe that this wasn't going the way that I thought it would. I couldn't understand that real life wasn't what you saw in the movies. Not everything works out the way that we thought it would.
But finally, I had to face the facts. You never wanted to be with me, and you were never going to want to be with me.
And for that, I say:
Thank you.
Thank you for showing me what I truly deserve. Thank you for giving me the courage to accept the things that I cannot change. Thank you for forcing me to move on and to find better things out there.
You made me feel bad about myself. You made me think that it was my fault that you didn't want me. But the truth is, it wasn't my fault.
It's not your fault for not wanting to be with me, but it is your fault for using my feelings to your advantage.
But I truly am grateful. You taught me how to be strong and how to put myself first.
You showed me that I deserve to be with someone who doesn't have me as their back up plan, but instead as the only person that they want to be with.
I deserve to be happy, so thank you for showing me that.
Thank you for not loving me back.