You're so caring and loving. You're incredibly funny. You're so smart, I love your mindset. You're as beautiful inside as you are out. You're too nice...but. But.
That is the line I always fear yet always hear. "You're too nice to others. Why do you do so much for people? Why do people treat you so poorly, how could they?" Not long after they say that they will say "but..." I just wait for it. Because I'll give you space. I will support you in everything that you do, whether I disagree or not. I will be your number one fan. I will do my best to make you happy. And I am easy to walk over... Just take a step on the Welcome Mat placed on my forehead.
Usually, after the infamous "B-word," I hear a roaring story about your ex or someone who you did not even have a relationship with but who still crushed your soul. It seems like those who have once allowed someone in, have then locked their door and will never give the key to anyone else ever again. Their door will remain locked, key hidden away for no one to find for a while.
It might be the healthcare worker in me, but life is too short. Too. Fucking. Short. I see people sick every single day. I take care of family members who unfortunately pass on my watch. I see people mourn and cry and wish they had more time. More time? Time we are all wasting. Wasting and using to have pity on people we once had feelings for but were not reciprocated? An ugly cycle people use to make themselves feel better after getting their hearts crushed.
I was once told, "You have such a strong urge to love. Usually, people I meet that are like you are older and recognize love the way you do." Then they said "but" and that was over.
I was once cheated on with another girl — I don't blame her. She didn't know me or even about me I am guessing. She didn't know how nice I was. "I would never ever choose anyone over you... but I messed up". But. BUT!
Is it OK to give ourselves the excuse of our previous heartaches to pass up on a kind soul? Sure, they might not be the person you want to be with for your entire life, except how are you supposed to know if you are not able to give them a chance?
How do you know when being too nice is too far?
Will there be a person who will ever appreciate that type of love or happiness? Why is it that the unkind and rude people are able to find people who want them? Is there a tip or trick? Do they have a better Welcome Mat on their forehead? Do they ever hear the B-word?
I would change who I am or how I treat others... but I love myself.
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