To The Girl Who Keeps Waiting For Him To 'Get Better,' He Won't

Don't settle. You hear it all the time, from your professors who motivate and challenge you, from your parents who only want the best for you, from your friends who want to go out, party, and have a good time.

Don't. Settle.

No matter how much your ears bleed because of how often the statement is thrown around, there are truths and validity to the saying. Especially at a young age, it's very easy to find comfort in a partner even though the relationship comes with plenty of heartaches. The association produces stress rather than bliss, but you remain. Why?

I won't lie, I used to be one of those girls who refused to "give up on someone." I didn't want to because romantic relationships are very influential in my life and, quite frankly, a big deal. I don't take it lightly. Not including my current relationship, I've had one other serious affair. It was as serious as it can get and he had my heart in his hand. I chose this one person out of all the fish in the sea and the thought of just walking away was ludicrous. If you chose an individual, you try to make it work.

But there was an issue: I depended on the future getting better, easier, less complicated.

It's true that people mature, develop, and change over time, but when it comes to romance, don't stay becuase of the idea or hope that it will get better.

Chrissy Teigen may have told John Legend, "No," when he first complained of their relationship way back when, but when I attempted to break up with an ex who retorted, "No, I'll change," I was cautious to stay, but complied. Although Legend and Teigen have happily figured it out as their issue was senseless and, now, comical to reminisce about, my ex never changed. At every attempt I made to divide ourselves, I ended up abiding by him and waiting for a miraculous transformation.

I waited. And lingered.

Walk away. Trust me, I learned it the hard way, and you don't want to feel like you wasted a period of your life.

After a messy breakup and the realization that people don't change for others and solely for themselves, I was stronger than ever. People can change, but only if it's instituted by their self-soul.

You only have one life! Woah, maybe YOLO isn't so useless. Don't waste your life, energy, and breath on someone who doesn't reciprocate. They could be the most amazing, kindest being on the planet, but that doesn't mean you can have a meaningful, lasting relationship with them. If there are troubles in the beginning, there will be detrimental challenges all throughout until the tumultuous end.

Although I don't regret my past connections, the experiences I gained, the person I've become, after the split, I was distressed at the thought that I misspent my high school career on a terminated commitment. In reality, I didn't fritter away this time becuase I learned a valuable lesson about my own confidence, independence, and strength. I'm grateful for the hardships, but, most importantly, now I know when to walk away.

There are differences between bumps in the road and entire divisions of tectonic plates.

Personally, I have a few lover-problems in mind that will assure the action of me leaving a relationship. For instance, if my boyfriend mandated what I wore or who I could talk to or if he was disinterested in the problems I bring up in the relationship. Bye. I'm gone. They've lost their opportunity.

I don't mean to be so pessimistic, but, at the end of the day, he won't change: once a cheater, always a cheater. Take it from Khloe Kardashian who has endured way too many relationship scars. Have a price tag! Don't fall for every guy who compliments your beauty, gives you an ounce of attention or calls you "the one." Never forget your worth.

Wait for the guy who collaborates with you and attempts to develop the issues found in the relationship. Acknowledge that no bond is perfect. When two human beings with unique complexes come together, there are bound to be issues, arguments, and battles, but the challenge is in recognizing that certain personality traits will never change.

Red flags are warning signs for a reason, take them seriously. Don't Settle.

SEE ALSO: "Girls Don't Want The 'Nice Guy,' They Want A Project They Can Fix"

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Cuffing Season May Have Ended But That Doesn't Mean My Shot At Love Has Gone With It

Hurt leads to happiness, never stop looking for it


This time last month, I thought I'd met a guy who would put an end to my vacant cuffing season. He checked off every box on my list and created new ones to add to it. I was in a daze and things went fast and I was perfectly fine with that. Voices in one ear said be careful, while voices in another said go for it. I let my guard down, and I got played, it's as simple as that. He got what he was after. It stung and it still does. He took a part of me with him through the door, and I don't think I'll ever get that back.

I am still coping, but I'm better than I was when it happened just two weeks ago. I'm ready to get back up on my horse and ride the trail of single life confidently again. Some may say cuffing season is over, but I have to disagree. I refuse to give up on the search for a relationship and neither should you.

Some people find their person earlier than others, and while I am jealous of that, I have to remember to remind myself that there's someone out there for everyone. He's probably figuring out life, just like I am, maybe wondering where the girl of his dreams is. I'll never know what he's up to, but I'm sure he's probably going through or has gone through similar issues. If I give up, and consume myself with the fact that I always end up single and will be forever, I'll never get anywhere in life. I know my worth and the right person will see that and snatch me up. In the meantime, there is no need to just sit around and wait for him to show up.

I'm a work in progress waiting for the mechanic to oil me up and set me free. I'm free, but I want someone to be free with if that makes sense. Yes, I'm struggling with some self-image issues at the moment, but everyone has their struggles. I'm at peace with the woman I am and am proud of how far I've come in my almost twenty-one years I've been on this Earth. You and I, we don't need to be with anyone who's anything less than what we want.

You deserve the moon and the stars and everything that lies beyond. You are priceless, and don't let anyone make you feel differently. Relationships are meant to develop as their destined to, so forcing anything won't work in anyone's favor. That being said, be open and honest with who you talk to, and let yourself be hurt. Hurt leads to happiness, whether we see it that way at the moment or not.

I've had my moments of hoping that boy will message me again, professing how sorry he is, and asking for another chance. I'm a forgiving person, so I try and hear everyone out, even if it's against my better judgment. I know that this trial is just leading on to someone better, and I refuse to let myself give up because a few busybodies think cuffing season is over.

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Having A 'Talking Stage' Proves Why Millennials Just Suck At Dating

Because who actually "commits" in 2019?


As a millennial who is currently in college, I've noticed that dating isn't how it used to be like back in 1995. We are the generation that can't live without our phones, are tech-savvy, and sadly, the ones who suck at dating.

This is not another bitter article because I "don't have a man," or I'm "jealous of what people have." In fact, I am actually in a good place and I am speaking on behalf of what I've seen. I'm tired of my friends coming up to me crying because their "man-who-isn't-really-their-man" isn't acting right.

I've seen more friends with benefits and flings rather than relationships.

Maybe I'm different, but I can't imagine just being around someone only to have sex. After a while, that gets extremely boring and if you have nothing else to offer, you just get "ghosted" instead of telling that person how you really feel.

See, in my opinion, that's the problem with this generation. Sex is considered meaningless now and it is basically easy to get. With all of these dating apps swirling around, it's almost impossible to avoid it. People would rather have meaningless sex than get to know a person and commit. It's like every time the word "commitment" or "relationship" is brought up, that person runs away. But they're so comfortable to have sex.

What really irritates me is that after two weeks, a lot of guys, in particular, get mad when a girl asks him to get rid of his "hoes" or "other girls he's talking to," but still expect a girl to drop their pants after talking to them for two hours.

That's another thing too. Let's talk about the "talking stage." So basically, by INFORMAL definition, the "talking stage" is basically when two people just TALK before dating. Did you make a face yet? Because that exists now. But seriously, talking about WHAT honestly? Don't you do that when you're I don't know, DATING? And even during the talking stage, people still have sex, which makes no sense to me. You guys aren't dating but you're not dealing with anyone else. In fact, they'll get mad when you're hooking up with someone else. And when you start to catch feelings, it ends with "Oh, I'm not ready for a relationship right now."

So what exactly are we doing then?

Wasting my time?

Imagine filling out a relationship status on a ballot or something and the options are; "single," "married," "widowed," or "we're talking." And no, that's not what "it's complicated" is for.

It's sad because I feel as if this generation forgot how to love again. There are many people who are currently in relationships who are lucky. But for the rest of this generation, people would rather bang it out then talk it out. And people would rather "talk" than "date." I mean, what's wrong with both? If you're happy with what you are doing, then do what ever you want girl! If you are in this situation and you're unhappy, then what exactly do you want? Attention is nice, but after a while, if that person isn't really fulfilling your needs, what's the point of being with them then?

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