I'm Not A Crazy Girlfriend, It's Just My Anxiety

I'm Not A Crazy Girlfriend, It's Just My Anxiety

Believe me, if you saw my relationship from the outside you would absolutely label me as a crazy girlfriend. I feel that way sometimes, too, but I promise that it's just my anxiety.

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I have "crazy girlfriend" tendencies.

Believe me, if you saw my relationship from the outside you would absolutely label me as a crazy girlfriend. I feel that way sometimes, too, but I promise that it's just my anxiety.

As much as I hate it, I am in a constant state or worry and I feel as if I need to be in control at all times. I tell myself to let things go, but it's as if my mind is telling me that I need to keep close tabs on my boyfriend at all time. My mind is always convincing me that if I say one thing wrong or don't overanalyze everything about every situation then my relationship will fail. The smallest things trigger me, but I promise, it is so far out of my control.

Without knowing his location, my anxiety takes over.

It's not that I don't trust where he is or who he's with, because I'm almost positive that he's either at home or at school or at work. It's just that if I don't know where he is and I haven't heard from him in awhile, my mind automatically jumps to the worst case scenario—that he's dead in a ditch. I feel absolutely crazy wanting to know where he is all of the time, but sometimes not knowing is even worse and has me preparing what I would say at his funeral.

If he leaves me on read, my anxiety takes over.

I could really care less if he has his read receipts on or not, but because he does have them on, being left on read is the cause for so much unnecessary anxiety. Sending a text to say that you're in the middle of something takes only a few seconds, and I know that, which causes my mind to immediately wonder why he would open a text and not respond. I fear that I'm suddenly not good enough for him, that I said something wrong and made him upset, or I fear that the worst has happened to him. I feel crazy as I double text him asking why he didn't reply, but no matter how hard I try, my mind won't let it go.

If he's hanging out with friends, my anxiety takes over.

I'm not his mom, so I can't and don't tell him who he is and isn't allowed to hang out with and when he can and can't hang out with his friends. That simply is not my job. But I end up worrying about him like I am his mom when he does hang out with friends. I know that he's a god guy and I 100% trust his judgment, but I don't know his friends and I constantly worry that one of them will pressure him into doing something that he shouldn't, or that one of them will make a dumb decision that will put my boyfriend in danger as well. I want him to go out and have fun, but I've seen boys be stupid and my anxiety immediately tells me that his friends are going to be stupid as well.

If he changes his profile picture, my anxiety takes over.

This makes me feel so stupid, and I admit, the first time I ever told him that this was triggering for me was an embarrassing day, but it comes with a backstory. A few years ago he changed his profile picture to a picture that I wasn't in and the next morning, I woke up to a text saying that he thought that things would be best if we took a break for a little bit. Even to this day, a simple change in his profile picture forces my mind to race and assume that it's because he's mad at me. I am in a constant state of worry that history is going to repeat itself. This is something that he will likely never understand and, to be honest, I'm not even sure that I fully understand it.

Anxiety has a crazy way of working like that.

If he's in a group chat, my anxiety takes over.

I'm not being self-centered and saying that every time he's in a group chat they're talking about me, but he's told me on more than one occasion that my name has been brought up and I would love to know what's being said about me. In the past, he's had friends make derogatory comments about me, and while I 100% trust him to shut things like that down, I am in a constant state of paranoia wondering if someone will say something like that again. He's also had friends who will try to convince him that he'd be better off single. I know that he would never believe them if he told me that, but I would kill to know if that's what's being said about me. My anxiety convinces me that his friends hate me and that the second they hear my name they have to make their bitter feelings known.

As badly as I want to be the laid-back girlfriend who is worry-free, my anxiety will never let me do that. I applaud my boyfriend because I know that it's something that is so hard to understand. I am forever thankful that he so willingly does what I need him to do to make me feel more comfortable. I am so thankful for the endless hours that he spends trying to get me to believe that this really is all in my head and that he would never do anything to hurt me. I am so thankful that no matter what, he will never see me as being a crazy girlfriend because he understands that this is something that I can't control.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

11 Things The Man You Love Should Do For You, No Questions Asked

Sometimes it's just the simple things in life that mean a lot.

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Every girl feels special when the guy she's dating does simple things for her that not everyone thinks about. Here's a list of 10 things that every girl genuinely appreciates.

1. Open/Hold the door

I feel like this one is really simple because everyone has to walk through doors. Chivalry isn't dead, let him open the door for you. He's not trying to prove that you can't do it for yourself, but he's trying to be polite and show you that he cares for you.

2. Give you really big hugs

Everyone has bad days, and sometimes you just need a really big hug. Whether it be a bear hug or the hug where he picks you up and spins you around, it will make you feel better in the long run.

3. Buy you really small gifts

One of the best things my boyfriend has ever done for me is simply bringing me a Dr. Pepper when he knows I'm tired from a long hard day full of exams or work. Sonic slushes will also make my day in a heartbeat.

4. Text/Call you just to tell you he loves you

This is pretty simple. It takes less than 10 seconds to text, and only a few minutes to call. Sometimes you get these texts right at the perfect moment, and it makes you feel so much better.

5. Come see you when you're sick

Everyone hates being sick. But seeing your friends and family while you're sick can make you feel so much better. Having your boyfriend come to see you and possibly even take care of you just makes being sick that much easier.

6. Respect your decisions

You're not married yet, so your decisions are up to you! He should respect the decisions you make and support you, even if it's not what he thinks is the best decision. After all, you know yourself better than anyone else!

7. Give you a shoulder to cry on

We all have bad days, and sometimes you just can't stop the tears from coming. Even if he's not good with crying, he should give you hugs and love to help you get through it.

8. Compliment you

Even if you look horrible and know so, hopefully, he'll still tell you that you look good. Even if the clothes you're wearing aren't his style, he should still tell you that they look good on you and that you are beautiful each and every day.

9. Call you when you're away or he's away

If you're like me, I miss my boyfriend after being away for about three hours, so when we're apart for more than a couple days, I love getting random calls from him when he knows I'm not busy. It's definitely better than a text.

10. Deal with all your annoying quirks

So if you're anything like me, you enjoy screaming music as loudly and horribly as you can in the car and making a complete fool of yourself, but he should love you for that anyway. I also love to take really stupid pictures, and he should put up with that too. He shouldn't be annoyed by your quirks, he should love them and laugh along with you.

11. Love you no matter what

I honestly feel like this goes without saying, but I put it on here so that the girls who don't feel like they're being loved no matter what can realize. He should want to work out problems with you instead of calling it quits and holding a grudge. He should want you to be happy and support you in every decision you make in life. When he loves you unconditionally, he will do all of the above things and more.

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If You View Being In A Relationship As 'Losing Your Freedom,' You’re In The Wrong Relationship

Someone had to say it.

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Relationships are about being the best possible version of yourself separate and together. They're about growing with and doing life alongside your partner. They're fun, loving, and granted, they can sometimes be challenging.

Some challenges that frequently come up in relationships are disagreements (which are for sure gonna happen, because you're two individual people!), dealing with stress, and depending on where you're at in life, it could also be financial struggles. Of course, all relationships are going to have problems and everything won't always be “rainbows and butterflies" as Maroon 5 like to put it.

That being said though, one challenge that shouldn't ever be an issue in a relationship is the loss of freedom. Where did this idea come from?

I see it all the time, people talking about not wanting to get into a relationship because they don't want to "lose their freedom".

If you are in a relationship which causes you to lose your freedom, you are 100% in the wrong relationship.

Being in a relationship is not synonymous with not being able to be yourself or be able to do what you want. In a good relationship, you will be able to still have your alone time, be your own person, hang out with your friends, the list goes on and on. All of these things are so important. Relationships should never consume your life, they should complement it.

Why is this even a conversation we need to be having? Seriously.

Now obviously if you're referring to losing the option of getting with other people or dating around, then yes, you're right, you absolutely shouldn't get into a relationship... but that doesn't mean relationships mean losing your freedom.

If you are in a relationship with someone you love and respect, getting with other people isn't even going to be on your radar. It truly is that simple.

The trend of hating on relationships, for this reason, has gotten so out of hand in recent years, especially on social media. It's so frustrating, though, because it could not be any more inaccurate.

You should absolutely still have freedom in relationships. You can have it. I for one absolutely have it and do not view my relationship as the loss of freedom, at all. If you don't, maybe evaluate that relationship and realize it's not the best one to be in.

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