I'm Not A Crazy Girlfriend, It's Just My Anxiety

I'm Not A Crazy Girlfriend, It's Just My Anxiety

Believe me, if you saw my relationship from the outside you would absolutely label me as a crazy girlfriend. I feel that way sometimes, too, but I promise that it's just my anxiety.

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I have "crazy girlfriend" tendencies.

Believe me, if you saw my relationship from the outside you would absolutely label me as a crazy girlfriend. I feel that way sometimes, too, but I promise that it's just my anxiety.

As much as I hate it, I am in a constant state or worry and I feel as if I need to be in control at all times. I tell myself to let things go, but it's as if my mind is telling me that I need to keep close tabs on my boyfriend at all time. My mind is always convincing me that if I say one thing wrong or don't overanalyze everything about every situation then my relationship will fail. The smallest things trigger me, but I promise, it is so far out of my control.

Without knowing his location, my anxiety takes over.

It's not that I don't trust where he is or who he's with, because I'm almost positive that he's either at home or at school or at work. It's just that if I don't know where he is and I haven't heard from him in awhile, my mind automatically jumps to the worst case scenario—that he's dead in a ditch. I feel absolutely crazy wanting to know where he is all of the time, but sometimes not knowing is even worse and has me preparing what I would say at his funeral.

If he leaves me on read, my anxiety takes over.

I could really care less if he has his read receipts on or not, but because he does have them on, being left on read is the cause for so much unnecessary anxiety. Sending a text to say that you're in the middle of something takes only a few seconds, and I know that, which causes my mind to immediately wonder why he would open a text and not respond. I fear that I'm suddenly not good enough for him, that I said something wrong and made him upset, or I fear that the worst has happened to him. I feel crazy as I double text him asking why he didn't reply, but no matter how hard I try, my mind won't let it go.

If he's hanging out with friends, my anxiety takes over.

I'm not his mom, so I can't and don't tell him who he is and isn't allowed to hang out with and when he can and can't hang out with his friends. That simply is not my job. But I end up worrying about him like I am his mom when he does hang out with friends. I know that he's a god guy and I 100% trust his judgment, but I don't know his friends and I constantly worry that one of them will pressure him into doing something that he shouldn't, or that one of them will make a dumb decision that will put my boyfriend in danger as well. I want him to go out and have fun, but I've seen boys be stupid and my anxiety immediately tells me that his friends are going to be stupid as well.

If he changes his profile picture, my anxiety takes over.

This makes me feel so stupid, and I admit, the first time I ever told him that this was triggering for me was an embarrassing day, but it comes with a backstory. A few years ago he changed his profile picture to a picture that I wasn't in and the next morning, I woke up to a text saying that he thought that things would be best if we took a break for a little bit. Even to this day, a simple change in his profile picture forces my mind to race and assume that it's because he's mad at me. I am in a constant state of worry that history is going to repeat itself. This is something that he will likely never understand and, to be honest, I'm not even sure that I fully understand it.

Anxiety has a crazy way of working like that.

If he's in a group chat, my anxiety takes over.

I'm not being self-centered and saying that every time he's in a group chat they're talking about me, but he's told me on more than one occasion that my name has been brought up and I would love to know what's being said about me. In the past, he's had friends make derogatory comments about me, and while I 100% trust him to shut things like that down, I am in a constant state of paranoia wondering if someone will say something like that again. He's also had friends who will try to convince him that he'd be better off single. I know that he would never believe them if he told me that, but I would kill to know if that's what's being said about me. My anxiety convinces me that his friends hate me and that the second they hear my name they have to make their bitter feelings known.

As badly as I want to be the laid-back girlfriend who is worry-free, my anxiety will never let me do that. I applaud my boyfriend because I know that it's something that is so hard to understand. I am forever thankful that he so willingly does what I need him to do to make me feel more comfortable. I am so thankful for the endless hours that he spends trying to get me to believe that this really is all in my head and that he would never do anything to hurt me. I am so thankful that no matter what, he will never see me as being a crazy girlfriend because he understands that this is something that I can't control.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

31 One-Liners You Say To Your Boyfriend Before, After And During The Sunday Scaries Hit

Sunday scaries are much more intense that we like to believe.

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Ah Friday. The blessed day of the week that kicks off the wonderful weekend. You have it planned where you are going to tackle everything on your to do list. You're going to clean, you're going to do laundry and even have a special date night with your boo. Maybe even grab a couple drinks with some friends. No matter what, you are not letting the weekend go to waste. Then, before you know it,

Sunday hits.

It's as if the second you went to bed Friday night (or Saturday morning, I won't judge) it immediately skips over Saturday and you are left with one single day to get everything done. The Sunday scaries are real and if you feel the stress that comes with them, you've probably said these one-liners to your boyfriend at some point during the weekend.

Before

1. "Sunday scaries are a joke!"

2. You think just because it's 2 a.m. Sunday morning that we can't have another drink?"



3. "Babe, the laundry will get done, we have all weekend!"

4. "Let's go out with our friends tonight! We have plenty of time to clean the kitchen."

5. "What do you mean we should go home? It's not even midnight!"

6. "But, what if I never get a chance to sing "Man, I Feel Like A Woman" at a karaoke bar again!?"



7. "Oh don't worry, I'm not going to let the Sunday scaries stress me out!"

8. "I won't have a hangover tomorrow!"



9. "I'm a perfectly capable adult!"

During

10. "OMG, BABE WHAT DID I DO?"



11. "What do you mean I sang karaoke until 2 in the morning? I don't even like karaoke!"

12. "I had, HOW many drinks?"

13. "Babe, we NEED to get laundry done."

14. "Why is this house such a mess?"



15. "Why didn't you stop me?!"

16. "Please clean the bathroom, my head hurts too much."

17. "No, I do NOT have a hangover!"

18. "Baby, can we pleaseeee take a nap?" *Says while crying*



19. "I just wanted to have ONE *sobs* GOOD *sobs* NIGHT."

20. *blows nose in boyfriends shirt*"We have NO time to get anything done!"

21. "I'm never going out again!"



22. "I can't adult!"

After

23. "Well, I guess it wasn't THAT bad.."

24. "I mean, we made some progress, we have clean underwear!"



25. "I can see the floor, I think we did a lot today."

26. "You know what would be a great idea? Drinks."

27. "Can we order buffalo wings for dinner?"



28. "I still don't think I was that drunk."

29. "The Sunday scaries did NOT get me."

30. "We should do this again next weekend!"

31. "Adulting is easy!"


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Now That I'm About To Graduate, I Wish 'College Freshman Me' Knew These 7 Things About Love

Remember the love. Measure in love. Measure your life in love.

Dr King
Dr King
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December 7th, 2018, is the date that I along with over 2,000 students at UNC-Greensboro have been waited for quite literally for years. Now that the graduation ceremony is approximately 9 hours, 25 minutes, and 4 seconds away I can't help but lie awake in anticipation while reflecting on the different relationships I've had over the past four years no matter how impactful or minor.

I think if I could go back into the past to tell 18-year-old self from freshman year some lessons about love, here are 7 things I would say.

1. It’s okay to play the field

Until you actually find the person you want to be with, it's okay to date multiple people. I feel like women especially have a tendency to put all their eggs in one basket even before things get too serious. Some people are naturally more of the relationship and that's fine, but I wish I had known not to be too loyal to guys too soon before anything was clearly established.

2. But don’t play the field to the point where it bites you in the ass

Ladies, it should be a no-brainer that if you're going to talk to a few people at once, at least make sure they aren't in the same friend group. At a time it wasn't as much of a no-brainer for me though. There has only been one time where I purposely talked to multiple guys at once as if I was on a dating show like "The Bachelorette." If I could go back and warn myself to be smarter about the situation I would, seeing as I didn't have enough sense at the time not to chat with half the guys living on the same floor in the dorm that we all lived in. At the time I felt like it was pretty harmless, but eventually, I found that quite a few of them were salty about it.

3. Even “good guys” can have trash tendencies

Sometimes you'll be involved with a "good guy" because he's seemingly different than the rest. He may not be as tall as the other guys or have as muscular of a physique, but you know deep down that you can be happy with him because you know for certain he'll treat you right. Well, that's not always the case. There have been times where I went for the typical shy guy who didn't really get all of the girls because he was seen as "too nice." Unfortunately, there have been instances when they felt extra entitled to having me just because they were seen as good guys.

4. Sometimes you can literally speak relationships into existence

I am a firm believer that the power of our words is crucial, but now I'm an even more firm believer that our words work in terms of finding a boyfriend as well. One night as I moved into the apartment I stay at now, one of my closest friends stopped by to see me and he brought two of his friends along. I introduced myself to both of them, but I was definitely fixated on the Italian friend. Was it because he has the most distinct greenish/grey eyes I've ever seen? Maybe. However, there was this weird feeling I had that he was going to be my boyfriend which was insane considering that we probably only spoke to each other on no more than three or four occasions that night, one of them being when he asked me if he could use my bathroom. I even told one of my roommates right before I went to bed that night that he was going to be my boyfriend someday. Later my sister and I would see him almost every other week at the same two spots in the library and I would whisper to her, saying "I don't really know that guy and I don't even like him like that yet, but I'm pretty sure we're gonna be boyfriend and girlfriend one day." About six or so months later we started dating for real and not just in my head.

5. Having sex for the first time doesn’t necessarily have to be a negative experience

The first time I had sex was halfway through my junior year in college. Prior to this experience, I had heard all of the worst-case scenarios—"Don't expect it to be great," "It's gonna hurt," and "you're probably going to get attached" are among the top three things I constantly heard. Contrary to what I've heard all those years, my first time having sex was pretty good. I think part of the reason because it wasn't this scheduled thing with a romantic dinner and a movie beforehand or rose petals leading up to the bed at a precise time. It was very laid back and natural.

6. Trying to make your ex jealous may leave you stranded alone in a different state

I've mentioned this situation briefly before, but the only time in my life when I legitimately had a grand scheme to make an ex jealous didn't actually go as planned. I used my magic charm on two MMA coaches and finessed my way on a free trip to one of the MMA events in South Carolina where they would coach their clients. It didn't take long for them to realize I wasn't being genuine. One of the coaches insisted that I wasn't showing him enough affection and the other coach who I rode down to the event with completely went ghost and blocked me. If one of my close friends weren't there as well then I wouldn't have had a ride back home to North Carolina.

7. Chicks over dicks

With all of that being said, whether or not I'm in a full blown relationship or just casually dating someone, I will ALWAYS need my friends more than I need the dick so there's no need to stress over guys when the time I spend with my best girlfriends is the most fulfilling.

Dr King
Dr King

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