If Your Fall Hookup Is More Trick Than Treat, You Need To Dump Him
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With cuffing season almost upon us, it may seem tempting to start finding a serious relationship, snuggling in closer to the casual fling you've been hooking up with, and doing everything in your power to make sure you don't go into the holiday season #SingleAsAPringle.

However, there are some situations in which it's way more worth it to not take that next step, or even to keep up the path you're on with the person you're seeing. If you're not having fun the majority of the time, or if staying involved with this person is causing you more stress than it's worth, it's time to let him go.

Fall breakups can happen for a number of reasons. If he doesn't respect you and just sees you as a sex partner, unless it's mutual, of course, this isn't really someone you want to bring with you into the holidays. Think about it. Do you really want to buy a Christmas gift for someone who won't even buy you dinner? No, no you don't.

If your fall schedule is getting jam-packed with back-to-school and every other commitment and you won't have time for romance, especially if he doesn't understand that and keeps pressuring you to spend time with him anyway, it may be time to say goodbye. While summer is a great time for fun, low-stress flings, fall is the time you're going to either want someone who'll stand by you and understand the realities of day-to-day life or it may be better to just focus on yourself instead.

If your entire relationship exists in the basement of a frat party or in his crusty twin size bed, if he's always pressuring you to shave all your body hair or to perform some sexual act you're not comfortable with, if he won't introduce you to his friends or take you out on a real date, it's time to decide that you deserve better.

Wouldn't you rather snuggle up with a puppy or a genuinely nice guy as the seasons change? I know I would.

Carrying a relationship into the fall is about so much more than having someone to snuggle with when the weather gets cold. There's no room in the season for fuckboys and anyone else who makes your life a nightmare. Honestly, the only nightmare any of us should have to deal with is the fun one for Halloween. But if the guy you're with is a nightmare or more of a trick than a treat, don't be afraid to say "Boy, bye."

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

How Much Do You REALLY Know About Contracting STDs? Take This Quiz To Test Yourself

Time to find out how much you really know.

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views

I don't care what anyone says, safe sex is better than unprotected sex. There are a ton of myths regarding sex, STDs, and germs. It's time to learn the facts. Be kind to your body and protect it. Be honest with yourself and a partner. Even if it's a one night stand, STDs should be on your mind–don't let it be a turnoff. STDs have been on the rise and "The United States continues to have the highest STD rates in the industrialized world." This is your wake-up call.





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My Parents Didn’t Tell Me To Stay Pure Until Marriage, I Made That Decision On My Own

So, please respect my decision.

tiannat
tiannat
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As we evolve into a more open and accepting world, the one thing that is getting less taboo is sex. It's not something that is talked about behind closed doors. It's something that is on the television screens and easily accessible on our phones. People talk about it and promote it like it's small talk. It's so hard to escape, especially as a young adult.

To say that I am staying pure until marriage is a very uncommon thing, at least in my opinion. Sure, I have friends who are in the same boat as I am. But, even at a Christian college, sex is everywhere and most people are partaking in it. However, I decided to not.

Growing up, my parents never told me to stay pure until marriage directly. I went to church and heard about it in sermons. I knew that by keeping myself pure until marriage, I would enjoy it more knowing that I waited for my future husband. I understand that some people may not agree with me on this topic, but here's why I am saving myself.

1. I want to know that the man loves me.

For me, I want to have sex with someone that I love. Now, you may defend this with the fact that your boyfriend loves you. That's great. But, dating isn't always a sure thing. Boys (and girls) can say that they love you, just to get in your pants. And, they will. It happens all the time. And, because you are blinded by love, you will end up giving in and doing it. But, see, I don't want to be blinded by love. I want to know that the person I am with, is with me forever. By making the biggest commitment aka marriage, that is a clear sign that they love me and want me forever. This is a good example of actions show more than words do. They can say they love me, but when they showcase that love, that's when I know it is real.

2. I want to give all of me to one person.

I heard this great example my senior year that discusses this exact thing. For someone like Hugh Hefner, who was with HUNDREDS of women, when he got older, he said he didn't feel anything anymore when it came to sex. He was numbed by the whole experience. It wasn't pleasurable or for love. By having sex with countless women, he had given a little part of himself to each of them, until he had nothing left. Therefore, by saving myself for one person, they would be getting all of me. As a whole. 100%. This is special because no one else has that except for my future husband.

3. The idea of getting pregnant scares me because of the lack of security.

For the past three generations in my family, they have all had children young. 15, to 17, to 20 years old. Blinded by love. Manipulated by their hormones. They had sex and got pregnant. To see not only 1 woman, but 3 women in my life go through that, I know how difficult it is. You're a kid yourself. Personally, I do want children. However, I have so many dreams and goals for myself. I want to graduate from college. Get a good career. Travel. Fall in love. A lot of that can be halted by a child. I don't know if I would get to achieve everything I want to, especially if I would have to raise the child alone (which usually happens). So, by waiting for marriage, I am using the biggest form of birth control.

4. There's no comparing, if you have only been with one person.

Now, this is different for every relationship. However, everyone feels insecure or uncomfortable when it comes to dating and relationships. Knowing that someone has had sex prior, you wonder if you are shaping up or doing better than the previous. By only having sex with one person, it relieves the stress of comparison.

5. It brings me closer to God.

One important lesson I have learned from friends, college, and personal experience, is that relationships (when it isn't built on God), you tend to stray away from Him. Therefore, by making my relationship with God stronger, I fall in love with Him first. Then, I am capable of loving a boy and committing to something like marriage and sex.

So, no, my parents never convinced me to stay pure until marriage. It was my own decision. I have reasoning for staying pure and it's my choice. So, please stop shaming virginity in the 21st century, because I'm not shaming you if you aren't one.

tiannat
tiannat

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