I Said Goodbye To The Friends That Didn't Like My S.O., Here's Why You Should Too

I Said Goodbye To The Friends That Didn't Like My S.O., Here's Why You Should Too

If you can't bother to get to know my S.O. how are you going to be my friend?

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For most of my dating life (which started around my freshman year of high school), most of my friends didn't date and had no intention of dating. That being said, trying to maintain a friendship while in a relationship wasn't always easy. In general, trying to juggle school, work, friends, family and a relationship isn't easy.

But it's even harder when your friends who have never been in a relationship, don't understand.

If you don't want to date, that's totally okay, do whatever makes you happy.

What bothers me is when someone, especially one who has never been in a relationship, tries to tell me, how my relationship should go.

Or who I should be dating.

Or anything about my dating life.

Don't get me wrong, I've been in my fair share of bad relationship choices. But they were all decisions that I've learned and grew up from. Without those mistakes, I never would have learned what I do and don't want in a relationship.

Not long ago, I was in a fairly bad relationship. Some would say it was borderline abusive, others would say it was straight up abusive. Not getting into the details of that, I knew I had to get out of the relationship, not only for the sake of my sanity but for the fact that I no longer saw that person as someone I could be with. I had started to grow feelings for a close friend, who was saving me from the relationship I was in.

The friends I had didn't approve of that previous relationship, which was understandable. But it was constant criticism on my part, instead of his. It was "you jumped in the relationship too soon" or "this is why I told you to stop dating for a while" putting the blame of the bad relationship on me. While I know it was my decision, this could have happened to anyone, at any point in their life. I was looking for understanding by coming to them, they were judging.

It had dawned on me that they did that with my relationships quite a bit.

When I had started dating my current boyfriend. Some of my friends weren't exactly thrilled. While some of them were trying to give him a chance, others refused and would bash him at every chance. Due to something that happened years ago.

Now, I'm not saying that my friends needed to be really close with the guy I'm seeing, but it would've been nice for them to give him a chance. It hurts knowing you have such strong feelings for a guy, that your friends just refuse to accept. They said I should've stopped dating because I date "too much."

SEE ALSO: 16 Things You Say To Your Friends That Can Actually Be Slut Shaming

I had waited months after my past breakup to start dating him. I wanted to get to know him on an even more personal level than we were before, so I knew what I was getting myself into. While those friends didn't approve, I realized with a lot of long thinking, that they weren't the kind of friends I needed to keep in my life.

I loved those friends, we shared great times together and I would never wish them anything less than the best. But it was time to cut our ties because we had different goals for our futures. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who wouldn't give my significant other a fair chance. If that's wrong of me, so be it. But my goal is to spend the rest of my life with him. To live with him every day and share a life together. I'm not exactly doing that with my friends.

If your friends don't like your significant other, before even giving them a chance. Start to re-evaluate your friends. If you like them a lot and your family likes them a lot. Or just a few of your friends don't like him, but the rest of them do...it might be time to say goodbye.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I'm A Christian Girl Who Lost Her Virginity In A Frat House With A Lil Dicky Song On Repeat, And No I'm Not Any Less Blessed

If you're not a virgin you are not a paper plate, you are not a used piece of tape and despite what those sorry illustrations exemplify, you are not worthless.

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12-years-old. That's how old I was when I was told that if I were to have sex before marriage that my wedding night wouldn't be special.

I was given sorry illustrations about being "fine China" and that I would be comparable to a paper plate if I had sex before marriage. I was also compared to tape. With each premarital act, I would become a dirty piece of tape with no value—unable to stick or "connect" with the husband God meant for me.

I went through my church's version of "True Love Waits." Yes, I know the intentions were good, but what stuck with me like a very unused piece of tape was that my worth was in my virginity. I still have letters I wrote to my future husband 11 years ago, pledging to save myself for him on our wedding night. I wore a purity ring to signify that promise and it served as a reminder every day that I wouldn't fall into the temptations of premarital sex.

I am now 23 and *surprise*—not a virgin. I lost my virginity in a frat house with a Lil Dicky song on repeat.

I was in and out of consciousness and this guy wasn't taking no for an answer. I was just too drunk to "stop it" like I wanted to. I still feel pretty worthless when I think about that night—and for good reason.

After that happened, despite the fact that it was just an unfortunate situation all around, I felt like I had nothing to give.

I saw myself as a used paper plate and a dirty piece of tape.

I had let down God, myself, my family, my church and my future husband. My wedding night wasn't going to be special anymore because I had nothing to give. So I just thought, what's the point?

Thankfully now, I know that I was completely and utterly wrong. Two years later and I have reestablished my self-worth and don't buy into the lies I was told as a prepubescent teen.

A person's worth is not in their virginity.

Whether you lose your virginity with someone you love, with a one-night stand or are taken advantage of, you still have your entire self to give to your future spouse. Those scare tactics and illustrations do nothing more than misconstrue where a person's purity truly lies.

I am not saying to not teach about waiting until marriage. I believe the Bible and God calling Christians to wait until marriage. I am saying that, as Christians, we should change the way we teach this value.

Yes, by all means, encourage teens and young adults to wait until marriage. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But as Christians, we should also teach that no matter what—you are loved. You are loved whether you sleep with nobody or everyone. You are valuable. You will always be valuable and no one and no experience can take that from you.

As a Christian, you will always be pure, valued and whole so long as God is in your heart.

I agree that God calls Christians to wait, but:

I will never agree that a person's wedding night won't be special if they don't wait.

I will never agree that a person can't fully give themselves to their husband or wife if they've had premarital sex.

I will never agree that a person is comparable to a paper plate or dirty piece of tape (why this is even a popular illustration I don't know).

If you are a Christian and you've lost your virginity you still are worthy. You are still pure. You still have your entire self to give your husband or wife. Your wedding night will be special. You will be able to connect strongly with your spouse no matter who you've slept with. Why? Because Jesus died on the FREAKING CROSS. He died for our sins, and that's not exclusive to premarital sex.

Your value and identity is in Christ—not something as overrated as your virginity.

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31 One-Liners You Say To Your Boyfriend Before, After And During The Sunday Scaries Hit

Sunday scaries are much more intense that we like to believe.

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Ah Friday. The blessed day of the week that kicks off the wonderful weekend. You have it planned where you are going to tackle everything on your to do list. You're going to clean, you're going to do laundry and even have a special date night with your boo. Maybe even grab a couple drinks with some friends. No matter what, you are not letting the weekend go to waste. Then, before you know it,

Sunday hits.

It's as if the second you went to bed Friday night (or Saturday morning, I won't judge) it immediately skips over Saturday and you are left with one single day to get everything done. The Sunday scaries are real and if you feel the stress that comes with them, you've probably said these one-liners to your boyfriend at some point during the weekend.

Before

1. "Sunday scaries are a joke!"

2. You think just because it's 2 a.m. Sunday morning that we can't have another drink?"



3. "Babe, the laundry will get done, we have all weekend!"

4. "Let's go out with our friends tonight! We have plenty of time to clean the kitchen."

5. "What do you mean we should go home? It's not even midnight!"

6. "But, what if I never get a chance to sing "Man, I Feel Like A Woman" at a karaoke bar again!?"



7. "Oh don't worry, I'm not going to let the Sunday scaries stress me out!"

8. "I won't have a hangover tomorrow!"



9. "I'm a perfectly capable adult!"

During

10. "OMG, BABE WHAT DID I DO?"



11. "What do you mean I sang karaoke until 2 in the morning? I don't even like karaoke!"

12. "I had, HOW many drinks?"

13. "Babe, we NEED to get laundry done."

14. "Why is this house such a mess?"



15. "Why didn't you stop me?!"

16. "Please clean the bathroom, my head hurts too much."

17. "No, I do NOT have a hangover!"

18. "Baby, can we pleaseeee take a nap?" *Says while crying*



19. "I just wanted to have ONE *sobs* GOOD *sobs* NIGHT."

20. *blows nose in boyfriends shirt*"We have NO time to get anything done!"

21. "I'm never going out again!"



22. "I can't adult!"

After

23. "Well, I guess it wasn't THAT bad.."

24. "I mean, we made some progress, we have clean underwear!"



25. "I can see the floor, I think we did a lot today."

26. "You know what would be a great idea? Drinks."

27. "Can we order buffalo wings for dinner?"



28. "I still don't think I was that drunk."

29. "The Sunday scaries did NOT get me."

30. "We should do this again next weekend!"

31. "Adulting is easy!"


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