It's that time of the year when everyone is finding a boyfriend or girlfriend, and all you want is to be able to say the same thing. You want someone to bring home for the holiday, and do cute couple things with, like make cookies and watch cheesy Hallmark movies until the sun goes down. You might have just gone through a breakup, or have been attempting to get back into the dating scene, and for some reason, you can't seem to connect with anyone, and anyone you do like never seems to work out anymore.
This, among other reasons, are a sign that you should take a time out from the dating scene, and seriously focus on yourself. If you can't love yourself with the passion you want to be loved by someone else, it's just not going to happen. Taking a leave of absense from the dating scene has helped me tremendously with self-love. I know what I deserve and won't take anything less, and it should be the same for you too.
1. You overthink every text you send and are sent in return
It's been five minutes why isn't he responding he always responds within a minute of me texting him!? This is now how it should be every time you meet someone new and start texting them! If you're overthinking literally every little thing they send, but also what you send, it's time to cut ties and take a step back.
2. You're looking for an easy rebound from a breakup
I get it, after a breakup all you want is to forget that person and move on, especially when you see that they have too. However, that's so unhealthy for you to be doing, don't use another person to give yourself the happiness you think a rebound will give you. You have to take time to be on your own after a breakup.
3. That guy you passed on the street or the one in your chem class or even at the gym all look like they could be boyfriend material
Everyone and anyone you see looks like they could be the perfect boyfriend you've been searching for. Odds are they probably aren't what you're looking for. He may be cute but his personality could be absolute trash. Looks are important, but they shouldn't define what you base a relationship on. If that's how you've been choosing men, it's time to stop.
4. Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge are your obsessions
Dating apps are addicting I'll admit it, but you cannot spend every waking moment looking for Mr. Perfect on Tinder. The majority of the people on there just want to tap it and move on to the next person. Spend your time doing that essay you know you need to get done, instead of swiping aimlessly on boys you know are no good for you. Detox and delete those apps for a while.
5. You're still not over your ex
You just can't seem to shake him. One second you think you're fine, but when you have to walk by them on the way to your class, all bets are off and it hurts just as bad as it did when you both said your goodbyes. If you know you still have major feelings for your ex you need to deal with, please do not try and meet someone new. You won't be able to give them your all when more than half of you is still with someone else.
6. Your feelings are super flaky
One second he's the cutest thing on Earth and you're obsessed with being around him. The second he says one thing that rubs you the wrong way, as little as it may have been, and you're suddenly over him and looking for someone new to occupy your time. Please do not be this girl. Flaky feelings form nothing but a bad taste on your tongue. If your feelings are going to be that flaky, don't waste anyone's time.
7. You accept an undefined, almost relationship status just to have someone there
Trust me when I say this will only screw you up psychologically if you let it go on for too long. I get that it feels great having someone there when you've been alone for so long, but it's not worth lying to yourself that they'll change or that you won't catch feelings. Do not allow yourself to be treated so unfairly. You are better off in no relationship than an "almost" one that will only break you in the end.
8. You go into talking to a guy optimistic, but if he turns out to be a jerk you aren't surprised and basically say you expected it
I was like this for so long. It really sucks when you think this one is going to be different, but in the end, they still find a way to screw you over. I realized that as soon as this pattern became all too familiar, that it was time to stop with the male species altogether, and seriously focus on just myself. There aren't all jerks out there, but when you're feeling low about yourself, it's the jerks who somehow find their way in.
9. You're in constant fear you'll be ghosted
This is also something you should not be fearing whenever you start talking to someone. You need to get a hold of yourself, tell her she's amazing, and stop letting those bad apples affect you so much. Your self-confidence needs to be at an all-time high before you can think about dating again. Get to the point where a crappy guy doesn't phase you anymore because you know your worth and value it.
10. Everything post-honeymoon phase scares you
Everything about falling for someone makes you so excited, but everything past the honeymoon phase sends shivers down your spine. Relationships are so hard to maintain if you don't want to put the effort in on those bad days. You can't just be in it for the good times, and flake the second it gets too hard.