10 Signs You Should Take A Break From Dating And Just Be Single For Awhile

10 Signs You Should Take A Break From Dating And Just Be Single For Awhile

Someone else can't love you until you learn to love yourself.

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It's that time of the year when everyone is finding a boyfriend or girlfriend, and all you want is to be able to say the same thing. You want someone to bring home for the holiday, and do cute couple things with, like make cookies and watch cheesy Hallmark movies until the sun goes down. You might have just gone through a breakup, or have been attempting to get back into the dating scene, and for some reason, you can't seem to connect with anyone, and anyone you do like never seems to work out anymore.

This, among other reasons, are a sign that you should take a time out from the dating scene, and seriously focus on yourself. If you can't love yourself with the passion you want to be loved by someone else, it's just not going to happen. Taking a leave of absense from the dating scene has helped me tremendously with self-love. I know what I deserve and won't take anything less, and it should be the same for you too.

1. You overthink every text you send and are sent in return

It's been five minutes why isn't he responding he always responds within a minute of me texting him!? This is now how it should be every time you meet someone new and start texting them! If you're overthinking literally every little thing they send, but also what you send, it's time to cut ties and take a step back.

2. You're looking for an easy rebound from a breakup

I get it, after a breakup all you want is to forget that person and move on, especially when you see that they have too. However, that's so unhealthy for you to be doing, don't use another person to give yourself the happiness you think a rebound will give you. You have to take time to be on your own after a breakup.

3. That guy you passed on the street or the one in your chem class or even at the gym all look like they could be boyfriend material

Everyone and anyone you see looks like they could be the perfect boyfriend you've been searching for. Odds are they probably aren't what you're looking for. He may be cute but his personality could be absolute trash. Looks are important, but they shouldn't define what you base a relationship on. If that's how you've been choosing men, it's time to stop.

4. Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge are your obsessions

Dating apps are addicting I'll admit it, but you cannot spend every waking moment looking for Mr. Perfect on Tinder. The majority of the people on there just want to tap it and move on to the next person. Spend your time doing that essay you know you need to get done, instead of swiping aimlessly on boys you know are no good for you. Detox and delete those apps for a while.

5. You're still not over your ex

You just can't seem to shake him. One second you think you're fine, but when you have to walk by them on the way to your class, all bets are off and it hurts just as bad as it did when you both said your goodbyes. If you know you still have major feelings for your ex you need to deal with, please do not try and meet someone new. You won't be able to give them your all when more than half of you is still with someone else.

6. Your feelings are super flaky

One second he's the cutest thing on Earth and you're obsessed with being around him. The second he says one thing that rubs you the wrong way, as little as it may have been, and you're suddenly over him and looking for someone new to occupy your time. Please do not be this girl. Flaky feelings form nothing but a bad taste on your tongue. If your feelings are going to be that flaky, don't waste anyone's time.

7. You accept an undefined, almost relationship status just to have someone there

Trust me when I say this will only screw you up psychologically if you let it go on for too long. I get that it feels great having someone there when you've been alone for so long, but it's not worth lying to yourself that they'll change or that you won't catch feelings. Do not allow yourself to be treated so unfairly. You are better off in no relationship than an "almost" one that will only break you in the end.

8. You go into talking to a guy optimistic, but if he turns out to be a jerk you aren't surprised and basically say you expected it

I was like this for so long. It really sucks when you think this one is going to be different, but in the end, they still find a way to screw you over. I realized that as soon as this pattern became all too familiar, that it was time to stop with the male species altogether, and seriously focus on just myself. There aren't all jerks out there, but when you're feeling low about yourself, it's the jerks who somehow find their way in.

9. You're in constant fear you'll be ghosted

This is also something you should not be fearing whenever you start talking to someone. You need to get a hold of yourself, tell her she's amazing, and stop letting those bad apples affect you so much. Your self-confidence needs to be at an all-time high before you can think about dating again. Get to the point where a crappy guy doesn't phase you anymore because you know your worth and value it.

10. Everything post-honeymoon phase scares you

Everything about falling for someone makes you so excited, but everything past the honeymoon phase sends shivers down your spine. Relationships are so hard to maintain if you don't want to put the effort in on those bad days. You can't just be in it for the good times, and flake the second it gets too hard.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

5 Questions To Ask Yourself When You're On The Fence With A Guy

Is he worth it?

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Whether you're contemplating if you want to continue your fling with a guy or contemplating breaking up with your boyfriend, there are always questions we're asking ourselves. Ranging from "is this right of me?" to "is this what will make me happy?" But if you are really sitting on the fence and don't know what to do next, check out these five questions you need to ask yourself if you're torn on what to do.

1. Do I want long term or short term?

This is a huge question to ask. If you're looking to settle down for a while, your guy may not want that. And it could always be the other way around as well. Make sure to decipher this with him so you both know what you want and no one gets a broken heart.

2. Can I see myself marrying this person?

I know this is a bold question to ask, especially if you're not dating. But really thinking about if you can see yourself with them for a long time can make it or break it. But say you're dating and you're on the fence of deciding you want to break up with them or not, think about if you can see yourself saying "I do" to them, and if you can't, let him go.

3. Can I see myself living with them/how do they live?

I've seen many people get engaged and move in together and later call it quits due to the way their partner lived. If you've been getting to know your guy for a while now and notices he lives like a pig, you may have to wonder if you'd be cleaning up those messes in the future.

4. How do they make me feel?

This question in a no brainer. If they make you feel bad, why even question continuing into the relationship.

5. Are they worth it?

Is he worth it? I know I have had some experiences when I was on the fence with a couple of guys and I've had to ask myself the same question. And when I'd question if he was worth it or not, my gut feeling always came out right. If you're looking to keep him around, always ask yourself if he's worth it.

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Girls, You NEED To Understand That Fuckboy Texting You ‘wyd’ 24/7 Will Never Give You A 24 Karat Ring

I finally managed to crack the code as to why your casual hookup will never try to make you his wife.

Elle Hong
Elle Hong
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There are five unofficial steps of hookup culture: Find a guy. Get to know him a little bit, but not too much (because you have to keep "boundaries," remember?) Make a pact to keep things "casual" and promise to still be "friends" with each other. Then, hookup with him. And keep hooking up with him without any emotional attachment — just over and over again and never expect anything more.

From a birds eye view, hookup culture seems so harmless. I mean, what's more convenient than having a booty call at your doorstep with the swipe of a screen? When you want to hook up, all you have to do is shoot that 2 a.m. "U Up?" text.

Hell, I even wrote a whole article about the perfect FWB situation.

Yet suddenly—here I am, Elle Hong, resident "Uncuffed" writer on Swoon and self proclaimed fuckgirl who glorifies hookup culture above anything else, catching feelings and falling for the wrong guys just like any other girl out in the world.

Consider this blasphemy. Or maybe I'm just dying to make a confession.

A confession that I, too, have experienced the feeling of wondering why I was never enough for the guys I hooked up with. Why they never chose me over the girls they would eventually form serious relationships with and why to them I only was nothing more than a casual hookup.

So, I thought about it. I critically analyzed it. I "Aristotle-d" my way into trying to find an answer behind the impossible question of wondering why I was never considered to be anything more. Over the past few weeks, it essentially became my new research topic and now, I finally managed to crack the code as to why your casual hookup will never try to make you into wifey material. Here's why.

First and foremost: Guys usually (but not always) choose to hookup with girls who they don't see as anything more.

Now, keep in mind I'm not saying that guys will NEVER fall in love with the girls they hookup with because it can happen. It's life. Life is unpredictable. No doubt, people have fallen in love on Tinder and married a random match who just happened to become The One. But we all know what Tinder is really for. Generally speaking, guys will seek random hookups with the types of girls they think are "easy" and if they're desperate enough, it's definitely not going to be someone they view as their future wife.

If he thinks you're cute, you're within 10 miles radius and you can hold a conversation, it doesn't matter what your annual salary is or how many siblings you got—he wants one thing and it's to get you in bed. And until a guys find this girl who captures his heart and inevitably makes him want to settle, he's going to go around hooking up with random girls left and right. So in this case, it's not your fault. You're just with the wrong type of guy who only thinks of you as his sexual conquest.

See also: Guys want to settle with girls that don't go around hooking up with other people.

Ironic as hell because I just talked about why guys would never want to settle, period. But think about it—guys are humans with rational thoughts and animalistic desires. When they find their territory, they mark it. Once he finds a girl who is the one, he never wants to let her go. And he never wants to see that girl be with another guy or god forbid, go around hooking up with other guys. So here's the moral of the story to get my point across: I hate to break it to you, but bragging about how many other guys you're f*cking outside of your current FWB situationship isn't going to help develop the relationship any further.

Finally: A girl's "hoe phase" might seem empowering but for guys they see it as a threat.

Thanks to the wonderful millennial encyclopedia that we call Urban Dictionary, we have a definition behind this certain life style: A phase in life which occurs when a girl goes around social settings exploring herself, committing promiscuous acts and connecting with random people. For girls, it seems pretty damn empowering, doesn't it? For us it's a chance to let loose, to live a lil bit more and to run around as independent women. Nothing wrong with that of course.

But for guys to perceive this type of lifestyle, they see it as a threat which could arise if they form a relationship with you. It's simple logic here. A girl who's in her "hoe phase" is more likely to be unfaithful since they're always out and about with this person and that person. Put it this way: a guy doesn't care if you're a hoe—but he only wants you to be HIS hoe and not everyone else's. So you might think that it's a great way to express yourself and to enjoy your college years, but keep in mind that it could possibly be holding you back from taking the next step with your casual FWB.

Elle Hong
Elle Hong

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